U MAD, BRON?

113-77

The Spurs embarassed the shit out of the Queen & Co. last night, returning the favor from Game 2. 16 3-pointers? Are you kidding me? Game 4 should be a doozy.

Miami Heat late to the Harlem Shake craze

Here ya go, Left Coast Pete.

The beginning of this video is definitely the highlight.  Watching Birdman's crazy ass flap his "wings" while coming towards the camera is the definition of comedy.  Of course, Lebron dresses up like a queen, the Boshtrich is curiously wearing a nightgown and D. Wade dressed up like a bear because he is insecure (yes, I am jealous).

As a bonus, check out Mike Miller and Birdman making fools out of themselves trying to rap 'Ice Ice Baby'.

Midseason Recap

I know this is a few days late now, but I figured I'd go back over my initial predictions for this season, hand out Chuck's midseason awards and make some second half predictions. 

First to recap my previews of the Northwest and Pacific Divisions.

Out in the Northwest, it was no secret going in to this season that K. Smooth and the fellas would easily conquer the competition and grab a top 3 seed in the West.  My real brilliance came in with the 62-20 record prediction.  Currently the Thunder sit at 39-14 and if they continue with their current win rate, they will end up 63-19.  I'd say that makes me a fucking genius.

The major mistakes I made in the Northwest were predicting the Minnesota Timberwolves as the 2nd place team and the Jazz to only win 1 game.  In my defense on the outlandish Minnesota prediction, they have been decimated by injuries this year and Kevin Love has only played in 18 games (posting averages of 18+ppg and 14rpg).  No way a team that has traveled at times with only 7 people to away games is going to have a winning season.  As for the Jazz, the liquor laws in Salt Lake City have not been loosened so they are bound to falter under the pressure of the home stretch. 

In the Pacific, I was pretty damn close sans the meltdown out in Lakerland that no one in the entire world saw coming.  As long as the Warriors stay the course, they'll actually be better than my 43-39 prediction (47-35) and they'll be a 5/6 seed in the playoffs.  NO ONE can want to play this Warrior team.  If Bogut actually rounds into form so they have an inside presence and if Steph Curry stays healthy, I think they can surprise the Clippers or Grizzlies in the first round.  I was also able to correctly predict horrible, atrocious, embarrassing teams in both Sacramento and Phoenix, but that's nothing to write home about.

Midseason Awards:

MVP: Kevin Durant (I'm the biggest Kevin Durant apologist in the world, but this may be the tightest MVP race ever.)

Rookie of the Year: Damien Lillard in a landslide (Notice I didn't mention the idiotic prediction I made regarding him in the preseason.)

Defensive Player of the Year: Larry Sanders (Video game like block numbers, gets the nod in a surprise over Tyson Chandler)

6th Man of the Year: Jamal Crawford (17ppg off the bench, could also make a case for J.R. Smith but he has cooled off from the beginning of the year.  Honorable Mention: Kevin Martin)

Most Improved Player: YOUR Jrue Holiday (Ridiculous year.  19 and 9 up from 13.5 and 4.5 last year.  Paul George is also a strong candidate here especially with how he has carried Indiana without Danny Granger but I'm a homer so Jrue gets the nod.)

Coach of the Year:  Mark Jackson (Look at the turnaround.  That's enough evidence right there.) George Karl gets honorable mention. (Has Denver playing incredible basketball with no All-Stars and really no go-to scorer.)

All NBA Team: I'm going to do the same thing the All-Star game did and pick two back court and three front court players.  Back Court: Chris Paul and Tony Parker (I really wanted to put James Harden in here because he is carrying Houston, but could not ignore Tony Parker scoring 20 a game on 54% from the field while dishing out 8 assits).  Front Court: Kevin Durant, LeBron James, Carmelo Anthony

Eastern Conference Finals: Miami Heat vs. New York Knicks
Sleeper: Chicago Bulls.  If Joakim Noah can get healthy and Poohdini returns anywhere close to where he was last year, I honestly believe they could beat the Heat in the second round.

Western Conference Finals: Oklahoma City Thunder vs. San Antonio Spurs
No Sleeper here.  No chance.

NBA Finals: Miami Heat vs. Oklahoma City Thunder
Not so sleeper: San Antonio Spurs.  Would not surprise me in the least to see Pop take Timmy D and the gang to South Beach.

NBA Champion: Oklahoma City Thunder.  One reason, Kevin Durant.  He is having one of the greatest scoring seasons of all time and as long as Russ Russ gets him the ball in the clutch instead of blindfolding himself and taking wild layup attempts, the Thunder will take down the Heat in Game 7 in Oklahoma City.

The Namesake has no self-esteem issues

Despite taking a backseat down in South Beach, seems da club's namesake still has a pretty high opinion of himself.  In an interview with Chris Tomasson on Friday night, when asked if he thought he was a hall of famer, the Boshtrich said:

"Hell, yeah, of course. I've been a Hall of Famer like four years ago," the Miami Heat center told FOX Sports Florida after Friday's 110-88 win over Detroit. "And I say that very serious, though. I've talked about it before with my friends."

Not short on self confidence, but why should he be?  The guy has played 681 games in his career and has averaged close to 20 and 10 a game while adding 2 assists and a block while shooting close to 50% from the field and 80% from the line.  Those stats coupled with the fact that he could very easily end up with 3 rings on his fingers and double digit All-Star appearances make him a Hall of Fame lock in my eyes.

Unfortunately for the Velocibosh, yesterday the Celtic's Jeff Green did not care how Bosh sees his legacy.  Midway through the fourth, Green received the ball at the top of the key, sliced down the lane and elevated, gently touching his dick tip to Bosh Spice's nose en route to a dunk that nearly registered on the Richter scale.  Though he may have lost his dignity, at least he still has da club.

D. Wade May Not Be The Worst, But He's Pretty Bad

I can't put into words how much I despise Dwyane Wade.  Here he is being a little bitch and getting a fan kicked out that probably paid $500+ to sit courtside to watch him PLAY BASKETBALL.  $500.  To watch a BASKETBALL GAME.  If you think the fashionista would be grateful, you'd be thinking wrong.  I'd say $500 entitles you to do a little bit of heckling, but that's just me.

I think the thing that is really grinding my gears is that D. Wade is having the 2nd worst season of his career statistically (the worst since his rookie campaign), yet he is the leading vote getter among guards in the East and is a virtual lock to start the All-Star game.  All the while, Jrue Holiday is having a career year and sits at 8th in voting behind 2 guys that have been injured for long stretches (Irving and Felton), 2 guys that are having down years (Wade and Williams), a guy that is a proven loser (Ellis) and a skeleton (Allen).  The only guy ahead of Jrue that I can even begin to agree with is Rondo, but even then, Rondo is not as important to his team as Jrue is to the Sixers.  Without Jrue, the Sixers went 0-4 losing by an average of 13 points.  Without Rondo, the Celtics are 2-3.  Jrue is 14th in the league in scoring and 4th in the league in assists.  How can fans not notice the brilliant season he is putting together????

Larry already said it but having the fans vote for the starters is fucking stupid.  I get that the All-Star game is just a money maker in the NBA's eyes, but the show that they could put on by actually having the best players that season compete in the All-Star game would be incredible.

From NBA.com, current All-Star voting results below.

2013 NBA ALL-STAR BALLOTING PRESENTED BY SPRINT EASTERN CONFERENCE
Frontcourt: LeBron James (Mia) 1,151,304, Carmelo Anthony (NYK) 1,054,099, Kevin Garnett (Bos) 390,751, Chris Bosh (Mia) 362,973, Tyson Chandler (NYK) 315,752, Paul Pierce (Bos) 205,096, Joakim Noah (Chi) 158,743, Josh Smith (Atl) 131,508, Anderson Varejao (Cle) 116,166, Shane Battier (Mia) 107,190, Amar'e Stoudemire (NYK) 104,109, Andrew Bynum (Phi) 93,611, Luol Deng (Chi) 90,736, Brook Lopez (BKN) 76,695, Jeff Green (Bos) 62,367
Backcourt: Dwyane Wade (Mia) 765,077, Rajon Rondo (Bos) 675,822, Deron Williams (BKN) 350,618, Kyrie Irving (Cle) 308,878, Ray Allen (Mia) 232,441, Monta Ellis (Mil) 84,609, Raymond Felton (NYK) 77,123, Jrue Holiday (Phi) 66,514, Jason Terry (Bos) 62,189, Brandon Jennings (Mil) 56,826

2013 NBA ALL-STAR BALLOTING PRESENTED BY SPRINT WESTERN CONFERENCE
Frontcourt: Kevin Durant (OKC) 1,088,797, Dwight Howard (LAL) 716,671, Blake Griffin (LAC) 593,024, Tim Duncan (SA) 352,534, Pau Gasol (LAL) 239,440, Kevin Love (Min) 221,291, Omer Asik (Hou) 160,935, Rudy Gay (Mem) 140,864, Serge Ibaka (OKC) 134,172, Marc Gasol (Mem) 114,465, LaMarcus Aldridge (Por) 111,156, Zach Randolph (Mem) 111,046, Dirk Nowitzki (Dal) 106,623, Metta World Peace (LAL) 106,025, Chandler Parsons (Hou) 93,057
Backcourt: Kobe Bryant (LAL) 1,177,456, Chris Paul (LAC) 651,893, Jeremy Lin (Hou) 605,624, James Harden (Hou) 337,585, Russell Westbrook (OKC) 268,558, Steve Nash (LAL) 202,274, Tony Parker (SA) 128,966, Ricky Rubio (Min) 112,352, Stephen Curry (GS) 97,761, Manu Ginobili (SA) 84,564

Sessions Takes a Stiletto to the Balls from D. Wade

Fashionista, D. Wade, decided to paint his nails and wear his stilettos in Charlotte last night and Ramon Sessions paid the price.

D. Wade is such a little bitch.

LeBron vs. Durant

Kemp's Nose Hoes needs to get his head on straight.  K. Smooth is playing out of his mind.  His all around game is miles ahead of where it was last year.  Just look at what he did to the Hawks last night.  60% from the field, 50% from 3, 90% from the line, 41 points, 13 boards, 3 assists and 2 blocks.

K. Smooth has to win a title, but when compared to LeBron, we are getting dangerously close to not only saying K. Smooth is a better scorer, but a comparable, if not better overall player.  Let's look at the 9 major statistical categories:

FG%           LeBron 53%      K. Smooth 51%        Small Advantage LeBron
FT%           LeBron 68%       K. Smooth 90%        Huge Advantage K. Smooth
PPG            LeBron 25.2       K. Smooth 27.7         Small Advantage K. Smooth
RPG            LeBron 8.5         K. Smooth 8.5          Push
APG            LeBron 6.9         K. Smooth 4.2          Advantage LeBron
Steals           LeBron 1.3         K. Smooth  1.5        More or Less, Push
Blocks         LeBron 0.9          K. Smooth 1.5         Small advantage K. Smooth
Turnovers    LeBron 2.5          K. Smooth 3.5         Small advantage LeBron
3 Point %    LeBron 42.3%     K. Smooth 43.5%    More or Less, Push

The numbers speak for themselves.  The categories LeBron used to dominate over Smooth, FG%, Rebounding and Assists are now either even or extremely close.  LeBron's Free Throw Percentage remains a stain on his game while K. Smooth really doesn't have a category that is overly weak.  I know statistics can't tell the whole story, especially defensively where you'd have to take LeBron over K. Smooth (based on 1-on-1 defense), but they can paint a pretty good picture.

PLUS K. Smooth has starred in a feature film.  What has LeBron done in Hollywood?  Nothing.

I have wet dreams every single night about a rematch of last year's finals.  Please, please, please, Stern, have your minions match us with LeBron and K. Smooth again in June.

Wizards Beat The Heat!

This guy is articulating everything I thought last night when I heard The Queen and Her Men lost to the Wizards.

Ref, Marat Kogut feels the same way about LeBron James as I do...