Flying High

Not much that needs to be said about this photograph. It is a friggin' awesome shot of the best dunker in the association. There is no debate. Enjoy.

I said god DAMN!


What the fuck!?  That is some Harlem Globetrotters/halftime trampoline mascot shit.  You should not be allowed to do that mid-game.  I don't think it can be Dunk of the Year just because it's not right in somebodys grill, but you will be seeing this for years to come.  Unreal.

PS - Bout time we got to see a new DeAndre Jordan bench reaction shot. 

Warning: Insane Sixers Rant Below

Could it get any more soft than Spencer Hawes?  Seriously.  This guy is 7'1" and insists on playing at the top of the key where he makes a living bricking jumpers and trying to be a point guard.  Here's an idea, Spencer, why don't you get your fat fucking ass under the basket and let your All-Star point guard worry about running the show?

I had the pleasure of watching the Clippers dunk on the Sixers every way imaginable last night as they rolled to a 107-90 victory at the Wells Fargo.  The Sixers trailed by as much as 32 in the game and the 17 point margin of victory does the Clippers dominance no justice.  It was thorough.  It was complete.  It was powerful.

My disgust for this team peaked when Hawes let chubby chaser, Blake Griffin,  dunk of him for the one millionth, one hundred seventy six thousandth, five hundred and sixty fourth time.  Have a little self respect, Spencer!  The guy is making your sexy girlfriend wetter than the Atlantic with every dunk and not once does it go through your head to foul the guy?  Maybe don't let him put his dick in your face on this trip to the hoop?  Put him on his back and maybe next time he'll think twice about putting his balls in your eye.  Instead, you let him to the rim relatively uncontested where he throws down on you so hard, fucking Evan Turner starts giggling like the little school girl bitch he is.

I am so happy I only have to deal with Spencer Hawes for one more year.  He is a poor man's Pau Gasol and I hate Pau Gasol with the fire of a thousand suns.

That leads me to Evan Turner.  He has to go and he has to go now.  Get him out of here before the trade deadline.  He is a bust.  His wild inconsistency is doing nothing but hurting this team.  I get that he is having a career year.  I get that he has 10 double doubles this year which takes his CAREER total to 17.  He will NEVER be able to carry this team.  The Sixers still have a viable trade piece in him solely based on his potential.  Get him out of here while you can still get something for his bum ass.  For him to be sitting on the bench giggling at Blake Griffin dunking on the marshmallow is completely inexcusable.  Obviously cares about this thing a lot less than the fans.  His response after the game about his reaction, “I wasn’t celebrating or nothing. I felt bad for my boy and how he’s forever going to live on in highlights.”  You felt bad so you were laughing?  First you suck at basketball then you insult my intelligence?  God damn!  Good riddance, Evan.  I hope that you stub your toe on the way out.

Blake Griffin, Chubby Chaser

The Grammys were last night and it seems Blake Griffin has a thing for a certain rotund, British Grammy winner... ah, stereotypes.

Do you, Blake, do you.

DeAndre Jordan is a bully

DeAndre Jordan makes his glorious return to the club today by throwing down two man sized dunks (or one dunk and a power layup) on the helpless, Nikola Vucevic.  I almost feel bad for Nikola here.  Not only is he playing on a team that has now lost 11 straight games and has the look of a bad D-League squad, he looks like a 1st grader on the playground trying to defend a freshman in college.  Just putting up no resistance at all.  DeAndre acts like he's not even there.  Poor kid.

K. Smooth Doing The Blake Power Layup

Holy bejesus.  The European Center adage rings true once again.  These guys just love the poster publicity. 

No Ibaka last night?  No problem.  K. Smooth threw up 41 points on 15/30 from the field and didn't turn the ball over once in OKC's 102-90 win at Phoenix.  I am officially starting the Kevin Durant for 2013 MVP campaign right now.  Jump on board or end up with a boo boo.

Top 5 - Bottom 3 (Week 1)

Welcome to the newest weekly feature here at the Club.. the Top 5 & Bottom 3. Each week we will determine the absolute cream of the NBA crop, as well as determine the bottom dwellers raping the other franchises via revenue sharing.

Got beef with our rankings? Let us know what you think. Got serious beef with the rankings? Get the F out da Club. Now without further ado, the best and worst the National Basketball Association has to offer...


Top 5

1. Miami Heat (Record: 16-6)
The defending champs have had minimal bumps thus far in their title defense. Lack of interest in the regular season could be this team's only weakness(other than depth in the frontcourt, but I digress). LeBron & Co. are simply waiting for the postseason to begin to dominate the Eastern Conference with their #1 seed and home court throughout the playoffs.

2. Oklahoma City Thunder (20-4)
The Thunder deserve to be in the number one spot with their stellar play and impressive game of early MVP Kevin Durant. Last year's failures in the NBA Finals still seem more important than records through a 1/4th of this season, thus landing OKC at #2. The NBA Finals rematch on Christmas day against Miami will likely determine next week's top team.

3. Los Angeles Clippers (18-6)
Lob City has come out of the gate very sharp and have put up W's to match their sexy play. While NBA fans love seeing Blake Griffin jump out the building on a regular basis, Vinny Del Negro is doing something right with his roster and has put together an impressive 10 game winning streak. The Clips are currently reigning supreme in the Staples Center and are very much a contender for the title.

4. Memphis Grizzlies (16-6)
The Griz are the surprise of the NBA right now and are playing similarly to their playoff run two seasons ago.  Z-Bo is quietly putting up MVP numbers for his squad, averaging 17 points and almost 13 rebounds a game (good for 2nd best in the NBA). Rudy Gay, the other Gasol, and Mike Conley round out a core group of players that could challenge in the West.

5. New York Knicks (18-6)
As a 76ers fan, it pains me to put the Knickerbockers in the top five. Their play and stratospheric shooting numbers (averaging 12 three's made per game, by far best in the league) have the island of Manhattan excited about the Knicks chances for the first time in a long time. The imminent return of Amar'e will disrupt the teams rhythm and the inevitable decline in shooting % will doom the team.. but for now Knicks fans enjoy the VIP, the champagne, and being labeled as one of the best in the Club. 
 

Bottom 3

1. Washington Wizards (Record: 3-19)
The Wiz kids currently sit in the cellar with only three wins approaching Christmas. Injuries to stars John Wall and Nene certainly haven't helped this helpless franchise, but a winning percent of .136 is inexcusable. Washington has started 11 different players already this season, with neither Wall or Nene being one of them. Eleven!

2. Charlotte Bobcats (7-17)
The doormat of the association since 2004, Charlotte's NBA team is so bad most people think they still have a different animal as a mascot. The Hornets, er, Bobcats, started the season strong with seven wins, but are winless since beating the Wizards in OT around Thanksgiving. The Bobcats are currently caught in a losing streak of 12 games, making them an easy choice for the bottom three. Twelve!


3. Phoenix Suns (10-15)
While teams like New Orleans and Cleveland have much worse records than the Suns, those teams can at least attribute poor play to injuries to stars (i.e. Uncle Drew's broken hand, the Unibrow's busted ankle). The Suns lack star power, unless Marcin Gortat arouses you, and the majority of their wins are against the trash of the NBA. The Suns wins include Cleveland (twice), Detroit, Charlotte, New Oreleans, etc. The Suns, like all NBA teams, are permitted to have 13 players on their active roster. Thirteen!

Harrison Barnes Wakes Up Da Club

Holy shit.  Dunk of the year candidate here.  Harrison Barnes baptizing Nikola Pekovic, his wife, his mistress, his first born, his dog, his 2 cats, his oldest daughter's hamster and his best friend on this dunk.

The Golden State bench went a level of apeshit not scene since DeAndre Jordan's WTF! reaction to Jamal Crawford's meg.

Trying not to be outdone, the brown sugar ginger threw down a megadunk on Zaza Pachulia that made Jrue Holiday blush in Philadelphia.

Once again, the main theme of these videos?  Average, European centers playing the role of doofus in posters that in short time will be hanging on the walls of 10 year olds all over the country.

This is why ESPN is stupid.

This is why ESPN is fucking stupid sometimes.  Look at the headline and then look at the first quarter score to this game.  Just looking for a story.  Gotta get them page views up.  The Thunder are on pace to score 112 points yet the headline says they're struggling on offense... hm....

Lob City Living Up to the Nickname

As much as I hate self imposed nicknames and as dumb as I think Blake Griffin is, he nailed the nickname here.  Chris Paul's passing blow my mind consistently.  The perfect touch pass to DeAndre Jordan while on the run was a thing of beauty.

The Clippers look like they're going to contend this year but we'll know for sure come Saturday (at Spurs, at Thunder, at Nets, at Hawks).  If they can go 3-1, I'll completely buy in, but I'd imagine they'd consider a 2-2 road trip a success.

Mavin Williams Baptizes Jonas Valanciunas

I know this is a day late, but the NBA's favorite new whipping boy, Jonas Valanciunas, is back at it again.  Dude just loves being dunked on.

European Centers Scream "Dunk On Me!"

In honor of K. Smoove's Thunderdunk last night on Valanciunas, we decided to put together a compilation of some of the best balls-in-your-face baptisms of European Centers.  What is it about those tall drinks of water that makes them so poster friendly?

Back when Shaq was the most dominant player in the world, The Daddy himself over Muresan: 

The Black Mamba over Arvydas Sabonis in the 1999-2000 season:

Trevor Ariza over Marcin Gortat in 2010:

DeAndre Jordan dunking on everyone's favorite punching bag, Pau Gasol:

The most famous dunk (power layup) of the last few years, Blake Griffin over Timofey Mozgov from last season:

And the most famous of them all: USA vs. France in the 2000 Olympics in Sydney; Vince Carter over 7' 2" Frederic Weis:

And just for good measure, even though he's not European, here's a video of the top 10 dunks on Shawn Bradley:

Have you no shame, Mr. Bradley?

Josh Harrellson's Trick Shot

Josh Harrellson of the Clippers perfecting a new trick shot that he is going to use to beat Blake in H.O.R.S.E.