Mosgov getting Mosgov'd

USC product DeMar DeRozan took his turn embarrassing tall white European men last night and hit on a repeat offender with apparently no pity. DeRozan has surprisingly benefited from the Raptors acquisition of Rudy Gay, averaging 18.3 points a game since the trade. With opposing teams focusing on stopping Gay, DeRozan has been given more room to do things such as this...

Yikes. Timothy Mosgov has been known to get embarrassed by smaller, more athletic men on the regular. He has built a reputation for being on the wrong end of many posters hanging in bedrooms throughout this great nation. His repetitive play has lead to the term "Mosgov'd"; as in getting viciously dunked on in front of thousands. You can see another perfect example below compliments of Blake Griffin. I suggest Timothy Mosgov find Roy Munson immediately to help deal with the struggles of  your last name becoming an unflattering verb. 

Tee Shirt Jerseys. Ew.

The Golden State Warriors have gone against the grain of NBA fashion with a new look uniform set to debut  next week. Club VIP Harrison Barnes is shown rockin' the new jerz below while posterizing a 6'11 Euro center (Euro center optional). Chance of Golden State's stud rookie actually posterizing another tall Frenchie or Swede while wearing these jerseys are fairly high. The Warriors will wear these uni's at least three times this season. 

Adidas & the Warriors collaborated for many years apparently to think up this idea and have it come to fruition. Sure, Adidas will boast all the performance enhancing features and advantages to their 'revolutionary material and breathability' or some crap like that. But let's be honest, do you really think the jersey one team wears will have any affect on the outcome of an NBA game? I don't either. Take this thought and blend it with the fact that these new jerseys flat out look dumb, and you have a PR mistake about to go down in the Bay Area. You can thank the Club for the heads up. 

The Warriors are set to debut these uniforms Feb 22nd against the San Antonio Spurs. 

DeAndre Jordan is a bully

DeAndre Jordan makes his glorious return to the club today by throwing down two man sized dunks (or one dunk and a power layup) on the helpless, Nikola Vucevic.  I almost feel bad for Nikola here.  Not only is he playing on a team that has now lost 11 straight games and has the look of a bad D-League squad, he looks like a 1st grader on the playground trying to defend a freshman in college.  Just putting up no resistance at all.  DeAndre acts like he's not even there.  Poor kid.

Harrison Barnes makes his second entry into DOTY

Earlier this year, much to the liking of Kent Bazemore; rookie, Harrison Barnes, showed us his ability to embarrass entire families of European centers when he aggressively threw his nuts into Nikola Pekovic's face.  On Saturday night, Ersan Ilyasova, despite finally having a week where he actually looked like he deserved his ridiculous off-season contract, learned the hard way that Harrison is out to alienate every pale skinned European that stands between him and the rim.  Barnes now has 2 dunks this year that are completely viable DOTY candidates.

Your 2013 ROY, Damian Lillard

Damian Lillard is force feeding me my words from my October 8 preview of the Northwest Division in which I idiotically said, "With rookie Damian Lillard out of Weber St. starting at point for the Blazers, expect it to be a long, ugly year."  Though I still stick by my prediction of a 39-43 season for the Blazers (they are 20-21 right now), I could not have been any further off on Damian Lillard.  The kid is averaging 18.3ppg, 3.5 boards, close to 7 assists and a steal per game while playing close to 39 minutes per and shooting 42% from the field and 83% from the line.  Those are Rookie of the Year numbers, period.  It's not even close.  Washington's Bradley Beal has come on lately (because of injuries) but has been wildly inconsistent on the year.  Other candidates are Michael Kidd-Gilchrist, Anthony Davis, Andre Drummond, Harrison Barnes and Dion Waiters but none are even in the same stratosphere as Lillard.

Last night he showed us a shocking example of his athleticism and was kind enough to allow Nene to join him on his next poster.  I know Nene isn't European, but I'm filing this in the same category.  Wow.

Couple MASSIVE throwdowns last night

As reported in da club this week, J-Smoove seems to be on the outs in Atlanta due to a strange practice incident in which Smith intimidated Coach Larry Drew with some of his "physical attributes".  The media has reported potential suitors include the Mavs, Rockets and Grizzlies but sources inside da club peg the Philadelphia 76ers as the dark horse.

Trade rumors aside, J-Smoove made Brook Lopez look silly last night with a throwdown so aggressive that Robin Lopez woke up in a cold sweat.  Lopez was even able to get a shot to Smith's head that only served to anger the beast.

Last night, Serge Ibaka played one of our favorite roles here in da club, the European Center that loves getting facialized.  Vince Carter channeled his Vinsanity days and not only embarassed Ibaka but the entire country of Spain.  Sources at the U.S. Embassy in Madrid have reported that Spain is considering blocking all U.S. tourists for the next year to try to discourage future teabagging incidents.

The Best Player in the League Throwing Down

Another European being victimized by K. Smooth in one of the most aggressive dunks you will see this year.  Yikes.

K. Smooth Doing The Blake Power Layup

Holy bejesus.  The European Center adage rings true once again.  These guys just love the poster publicity. 

No Ibaka last night?  No problem.  K. Smooth threw up 41 points on 15/30 from the field and didn't turn the ball over once in OKC's 102-90 win at Phoenix.  I am officially starting the Kevin Durant for 2013 MVP campaign right now.  Jump on board or end up with a boo boo.

Dunk of the year?

That is a pretty ridiculous dunk from the Fresno St - SDSU game.  Lots of "Dunk of the Year" talk.  Personally, I don't think so.  Harrison Barnes has him beat:



And then there's this Victor Duke high school dunk:



Lots of great dunks and surely more to come (We all know BronBron and KSmoove have something up their sleeves), but I'm going with Barnes for now.

 

In ya face!

Minnesota's Last Hope: Ricky Rubio

With Kevin Love out 6-8 weeks, there isn't much sunshine on the horizon for the Minnesota Timberwolves.  During OKC's 106-84 demolition of the 'Wolves last night, there was one, fleeting bright spot, a between the legs pass from Ricky Rubio between 2 Thunder defenders to Lou Amundson.  Unfortunately, the bright spot went dark as soon as the ball hit Lou's hands.  The resulting shot attempt was one of the ugliest layup (hook shot?) attempts I have ever seen.  If only that pass was to Milk Chocolate...

JaVale Teabagging Teammates

JaVale is going to GET HIS no matter who stands in his way and no matter what side they are on.

And a bonus... check out JaVale's Instagram user name.  He posted this picture on Twitter with the caption "I was rocking the kings hat 43 weeks ago!"  Good for you, bigdaddywookie.

Harrison Barnes Wakes Up Da Club

Holy shit.  Dunk of the year candidate here.  Harrison Barnes baptizing Nikola Pekovic, his wife, his mistress, his first born, his dog, his 2 cats, his oldest daughter's hamster and his best friend on this dunk.

The Golden State bench went a level of apeshit not scene since DeAndre Jordan's WTF! reaction to Jamal Crawford's meg.

Trying not to be outdone, the brown sugar ginger threw down a megadunk on Zaza Pachulia that made Jrue Holiday blush in Philadelphia.

Once again, the main theme of these videos?  Average, European centers playing the role of doofus in posters that in short time will be hanging on the walls of 10 year olds all over the country.