Monday, April 29, 2013

MJ Marries Yvette Prieto

His Airness decided to give marriage another go round, tying the know with Yvette Prieto this weekend in an exclusive ceremony. The star-studded guest list included Spike Lee, Patrick Ewing, and Tiger Woods. You can probably guess who helped plan the bachelor party. Of course Club Bosh has the inside scoop on exactly what went down. Read on for some anonymous quotes from the wedding weekend:

"MJ smoked a stogie the entire ceremony. He blew smoke in the priest's face, and finally ended up putting his cigar out on ring-bearer's forehead. He told the kid 'You better hope that scar makes you famous.'"

"Jordan skipped the wedding photographs to play poker. He forced Pippen to stand in for him. I heard that he and Tiger were banging the catering staff in the kitchen during the photos."

"Michael showed up late for the wedding, getting straight off a private jet from Vegas with Tiger, Ewing, and Charles Barkley. Barkley skipped the ceremony, citing a financial matter that required his attention."

"Yvette can really take a punch, way better than Juanita ever could."

"Tiger was there without Lindsey Vonn. Apparently he left that Arayan bitch at home so he could reunite with a couple of his bottom bitches from the good ol' days. Heard she was in NYC comforting the newly unemployed Timmy Tebow. Probably giving that pussy a Jesus jerk or something."

"Jordan's sons missed the ceremony. I heard they were still in Vegas making bets for Pops. Now that's love."

"MJ is steady rocking that Hitler 'stache."

"Steve Kerr, Toni Kukoc, and Horace Grant all served as ushers. Jordan refused to acknowledge them, except for throwing a package of Ball Park Franks at Kerr."

No comments:

Post a Comment