Thursday, January 31, 2013

Oh shit (part 8)

In the early stages of what would turn into a Heat route of the Reggie Evans-led Brooklyn Nets (0 points, 6 rebounds for the man with the big mouth), Joe Johnson left Bosh tumbling like a drunk idiot into Haslem with a sick crossover. 

Nasty, and he made the shot!  Bosh isn't someone who should be guarding a quick wing player like Iso Joe, but he shouldn't get so embarrassed either.  That looks like what would happen if I were guarding him, not an 8-time All Star.  So let's break this down: Crossover to Bosh tripping over himself, made shot, against an inferior defender for the position, AND the Heat wiped the floor with the Nets (making the bench shit-talking all the better).  Getting 3/5 Paul Pierces here.  Nice work, Joe. 

Matt Barnes' is a pansy

Matt Barnes better realize that my boy, Stiemsma, would break his frail, wannabe gangsta ass in half.  No reason for this unprovoked attack on the boy from Wisconsin.  He was setting a screen, Barnes, relax.  He wasn't trying to shank you or steal your wallet.  It's part of basketball.  You know?  The game you've been playing all your life?  Maybe you didn't notice while you were amassing that awful collection of tattoos or maybe you're confused that you're not playing in the prison yard anymore.  Either way, chill, dawg, chill.

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Kobe Bryant = Keanu Reeves

Well all my wildest dreams have come true.  Last night, after another virtuoso performance running the point, Kobe referred to himself as Neo.  Its no secret that Keanu Reeves is the greatest American actor of all time, but the fact that his characters are now being referenced in mainstream sports is a dream come true for both of us.

The Lakers have now won three games in a row against formidable competition (Hornets were 8-4 in last 12 before LA, OKC's greatness this season need not be explained and the Jazz were 8-2 in last 10 before LA).  During that stretch, Kobe has averaged just 16.3ppg, down dramatically from the nearly 28ppg he was averaging before this turnaround.  I would argue though that Kobe is making a stronger push for the MVP now than ever before with his increases in rebounds and assists (8.7rpg and 13apg).  He is now RUNNING the Lakers' offense.  He realizes that Nash has nothing and I really mean NOTHING left in the tank and if the Lakers are going to make any noise this year, it is going to be on Kobe and Kobe alone. 

I love that Kobe said if he were a PG he would be the best in the league. Just loves his game so much.  Why would he not though?  Being able to change his game like he is doing, at this point in his career, mid-season is fucking foolish.  He should not be able to do this.  Blows my mind.

If the Lakers can get into the playoffs, they are scaaaaaaaaaaaary.

Reggie Evans is Not Impressed

Today, Reggie Evans (he of career averages of 4pts and 7rebounds) took time in an interview to state that he was unimpressed with LeBron and his sidekicks winning the title last year.  "It doesn't prove nothing. That was a lockout season." He went on to say "LeBron is no different from Joe Johnson or Andray Blatche. No different." 

I guess there's not much reason to spend time debating the comments of a player who has averaged about 19mpg for 7 different teams over the years.  We could talk about the fact that LeBron is 16-0 lately against the team formerly known as New Jersey, or that the Heat have beat the Nets by a combined 43 points, or that he has at least 20 points in 19 straight games against NJ.  Instead, let's just watch that game last year where BronBron scored 17 straight in the 4th to beat NJ. 

Also, saying it "doesn't count" because it was a lockout year?  Please. 

LeBron & Baracky

The 2012 NBA Champion Miami Heat got their final prize from their title run this week with a visit to Baracky at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. The Heat's stars certainly didn't miss the opportunity to show their terrible fashion choices to the President and to all those unfortunately in attendance.

First, D. Wade brought his wifey with (good call), yet managed to pick these kicks for his return trip to the White House. Turrible. LeBron went with the hipster vibe and wore the ridiculous glasses similar to those in favor last summer during the postseason.

Can't say I understand the champions of professional leagues taking up the President's time annually(even the WNBA?!), but nonetheless it must be a great experience. And without these trips we wouldn't have this pretty sweet picture of DWade, LeBron, and former President Clinton.

Tuesday, January 29, 2013


Well at least the Heat aren't lacking in confidence this week.  After Bosh and his (pretty realistic) assertion that he's a Hall of Famer, Mario Chalmers came out today to say that he's a top 10 point guard in the league.  "In the middle part" of the top 10.  Chalmers came through with some important, big games in the Heats' run to the title last year, but come on.  You reckon you're the 5th or 6th best PG?  Allow me to list (in no particular order) point guards you would take over Chalmers:
  • Chris Paul
  • Derrick Rose
  • Jrue Holiday
  • Kyrie Irving
  • Rajon Rondo
  • Russell Westbrook
  • Steph Curry
  • Steve Nash
  • Ricky Rubio
  • Deron Williams
  • Ty Lawson
  • Eric Bledsoe
  • Tony Parker
  • Jose Calderon
  • Greivis Vasquez
  • Damian Lillard
  • Eric Gordon
So I think Chalmers safely falls outside of the top 10.  He isn't a bad player, and obviously isn't going to shine on a team like that.  He has a role and he fills it.  I guess it's good that he's confident, but sometimes you need to take a realistic look at things. 

Harrison Barnes officially given VIP status in the club

Last night, Harrison Barnes decided he would no longer just persecute pale skinned European Centers and branched off into the pale skinned, American Center demographic with a dunk that will make Shawn deny that Aaron Gray attended Pitt.

Harrison, this is the club's official announcement that you are now on the V.I.P. list.  Come on in.  It's 18 to party and 21 to drink, but we'll rope off a section for you and Kyrie, fill it up with big booty bitches and let you guys do you.

Monday, January 28, 2013

The Namesake has no self-esteem issues

Despite taking a backseat down in South Beach, seems da club's namesake still has a pretty high opinion of himself.  In an interview with Chris Tomasson on Friday night, when asked if he thought he was a hall of famer, the Boshtrich said:

"Hell, yeah, of course. I've been a Hall of Famer like four years ago," the Miami Heat center told FOX Sports Florida after Friday's 110-88 win over Detroit. "And I say that very serious, though. I've talked about it before with my friends."

Not short on self confidence, but why should he be?  The guy has played 681 games in his career and has averaged close to 20 and 10 a game while adding 2 assists and a block while shooting close to 50% from the field and 80% from the line.  Those stats coupled with the fact that he could very easily end up with 3 rings on his fingers and double digit All-Star appearances make him a Hall of Fame lock in my eyes.

Unfortunately for the Velocibosh, yesterday the Celtic's Jeff Green did not care how Bosh sees his legacy.  Midway through the fourth, Green received the ball at the top of the key, sliced down the lane and elevated, gently touching his dick tip to Bosh Spice's nose en route to a dunk that nearly registered on the Richter scale.  Though he may have lost his dignity, at least he still has da club.

Carmelo knows how to get his

Lately, talks of Carmelo Anthony for MVP have cooled and his Knicks have struggled, going 5-5 in their last 10 including an outing on Saturday in Philadelphia that Anthony went just 9/28 from the field.  Critics have heaped it on Anthony once again for shooting the ball too much and playing selfishly.

Well last night, Anthony was nothing short of brilliant.  After starting the game 1/5, he finished going 14/23 including an extraordinary 9/12 from 3.  His most impressive 3 came at the end of the first half in a stretch that he converted 3 3's in 55 seconds including one at the 22 second mark below that he pulls up from the 'MSG' logo that sits almost 30 feet from the basket.  He capped off his day by driving to the basket with 12 seconds left and converting an 'and one' that gave the Knicks a 106-104 victory over the Hawks.

Back-to-back 28 shot games for Anthony is a bit scarey and brings back memories of the Knicks of last year.  If the Knicks want to have a shot in the East, they need to get back to playing like they did at the beginning of the season where the led they league in defense and the scoring was evenly distributed.  This all starts with the fat boi at the point.  If he can lay off the marshmallows, the Knicks have a shot.

Kyrie Irving IN YO FACE

Saturday night, Cleveland traveled north of the border to take on the Raptors.  A late Toronto bucket gave them a two point lead with 12 seconds to go.  Luckily, the Cavs have this kid Kyrie, perhaps you've heard of him.  Uncle Drew was cool as a cucumber before pulling up from about 5 feet behind the three-point line to drain the game winner.  Kid just scored 41 in a win over Beantown, has been averaging 31/5/4/2 in the past 5 games, and now this.  Just stop breaking your hand/face/whatever every couple months so I can keep watching you dominate people.

Harrison Barnes makes his second entry into DOTY

Earlier this year, much to the liking of Kent Bazemore; rookie, Harrison Barnes, showed us his ability to embarrass entire families of European centers when he aggressively threw his nuts into Nikola Pekovic's face.  On Saturday night, Ersan Ilyasova, despite finally having a week where he actually looked like he deserved his ridiculous off-season contract, learned the hard way that Harrison is out to alienate every pale skinned European that stands between him and the rim.  Barnes now has 2 dunks this year that are completely viable DOTY candidates.

Saturday, January 26, 2013

Bron being Bron

Last night, as the Heat were busy routing the Pistons, a lucky fan had the chance to take a heave from halfcourt for 75 large.  If you're like me, you probably figured that guy didn't have much of a chance.  After he absolutely drained the shot (with somewhat unorthodox form), BronBron ran out of the team huddle to bear hug and tackle him.  Is Bron a douche?  Maybe.  But he seems like he's genuinely a pretty nice dude, and that's just a cool moment.  That was the best moment of that guys life, 100%.

Friday, January 25, 2013

Kyrie Joins the Elite

The NBA All-Star rosters were announced this week and as usual some picks seem questionable at best. How does Steph Curry get left out of the Western Conference roster?!?! It is always tough to name the last couple selections, and even harder for the deserving players just left out.

One player that was not left out and was very deserving was Cavs Point Guard Kyrie Irving. Uncle Drew is currently the best young player in the league and has created a buzz about Cleveland basketball for the first time since... umm... well I'm sure you remember. Kyrie is currently 6th in the league in scoring at 23.7 per and has all around stats that are simply silly for someone that cannot buy an alcoholic beverage (except for road trips to Toronto, of course).

With his selection, 20 year old Kyrie joins an impressive list of legends who also made an All Star team before their 21st birthday. Here is the list:

Isiah Thomas

And now Kyrie. Impressive stuff. Enjoy the weekend, Clubbers.

DOTY Candidate: Swaggy P

Dunk of the Year Candidate compliments of Swaggy P:

The Liberty Baller raises sky high to posterize Bucks Center Larry Sanders (who currently leads the league in blocks at over 3 per game). Not too shabby for the University of Southern Cal product.

Thursday, January 24, 2013

Throwback Thursday with Chuck

His Airness... no further explanation needed.

The Best and Worst of Ricky the Kid

Though the Timberwolves fell to the Nets last night 91-83, Ricky had another highlight moment when he made one of my least favorite players in the league, Deron Williams, look like a fool with the pass below.

The Kid's trickery did not go unpunished as later in the game Joe Johnson extracted his revenge by exploiting Rubio's tendency to go for the steal, making him look like a complete fool.

I have no rooting interest for the 'Wolves, but some part of me really wishes they would've been healthy this year.  Would have really liked to see what they could do.  As it stands now, they're sitting in 10th at 17-22, 2.5 games out of the 8 spot.

PS HOLY SHIT, the Nets are only 2.5 games out of first in the East!?

Javale gettin his

JaVale Mcgee, single handedly keeping this blog alive.  Crazy decision making, and that celebration...THAT'S SO JAVALE

Wednesday, January 23, 2013


There's a celebration brewing up in Da Club!  Sources close to the situation have confirmed your 2013 All-Star Game Reserves.  Let's begin with the Eastern Conference:

Front Court: BOSH, Brook Lopez, Joakim Noah
Wild Cards: Carlos Boozer, Kyrie Irving

Front Court: Tim Duncan, David Lee, Serge Ibaka
Back Court: Tag-teamin duo of RussRuss Westbrook & James Harden
Wild Cards: Tony Parker, Seth Curry

Narrow misses include Tyson Chandler, Luol Deng, Brandon Jennings, Deron Williams, ZBO & Marc Gasol, LaMarcus Aldridge, Al Jefferson

Notes on the selections and non-selections:
  • JRUE HOLIDAY!  So well-deserved.  Philly is underachieving as a team this year, which you might expect when your franchise player/best center in the conference hasn't played a single game.  But they're afloat because Jrue is having a career year, putting up 19 & 9.  Sure the turnovers are high, but that's expected for a young guard suddenly getting the keys to the offense.  His game is growing by leaps and bounds this year, and Da Club couldn't be happier to see him get some recognition.
  • Bosh/Lopez/Noah - Pretty solid, but you could have probably put Tyson Chandler in there instead of Bosh.  Hate to trash the namesake of Da Club, but Chandler is such a huge reason the Knicks are good, and he deserves to be noticed.
  • Paul George and Carlos Boozer have come on real strong lately, equally vital to their teams keeping pace in the East.
  • KYRIE and STEPH CURRY.  Can't overstate how much I like these two.  Two of the best young guards in the league, and it will be awesome to watch them go at each other.  Even with some injuries, I support Kyrie over Paul Pierce/DWill/Brandon Jennings 100%.
  • Real, real tough to leave out both ZBo and M.Gasol.  Would like to see one of them above Tony Parker. 
  • Tim Duncan, David Lee, Ibaka, RussRuss, Harden - Can't argue there. 

All in all, I think things are shaping up nicely for the ASG.  Still think most of the fans are big dumb idiots for their voting records, but as usual the coaches managed to fix those errors for the most part.  If you haven't already, reserve your tickets now for the Club Bosh VIP Pussy Poppin Pregame Party! 

the PELICANS?!?!

Sources close to the club can confirm another franchise altering development soon to go down in the Association. It appears as early as the end of the week, the New Orleans Hornets will be dropping the Hornets moniker and instead changing their names to the Pelicans.

Here is the rumored logo the team will adapt. Yes, the Pelicans. What an inspiring and intimidating name for a franchise.

Louisiana apparently has some odd Manti Te'o type fascination with the bird. While I can attest to the Pelican at least being real, the bond between state and bird seems a bit odd. The Pelican is the state bird of Louisiana(fine), but the bird also appears on the Louisiana State Flag, Louisiana License Plate, & the State Painting.

Who the hell knew states had paintings?

Lamar Odom smater than Jonas Valanciunas

Let's get this out of the way before I go on.  I'm sure you're looking at this and thinking, "Jesus Christ, man, why don't you suck his dick already?', but if K. Smooth keeps doling out the hits, what's a guy supposed to do?  He's become THE VIP up in da club and club employees have strict instructions to make sure he never even has to SEE the velvet rope.

Last night he was back on his grind and making Khloe Kardashian's husband look like a BITCH.  Lamar Kardashian did not even attempt to challenge K. Smooth in the air.  Probably a smart decision as Smooth has taken no prisoners when attacking the rim in his career.  Although a smart decision, Lamar cowering like that makes me 100% certain that Khloe manhandles him at home.  Poor little guy.

Gotta love the way Smooth blows past Matt Barnes at the top of the key like he's not even there.  Great D from a guy that has made a career out of playing defense.

Nick Young Imitating KG's Barfight

Can't believe I did not see this last year.  Nick Young referencing the infamous KG/Sager Barfight interview after their insane 4th quarter comeback in game 1 of their playoff series against the Grizzlies.

PS why can't Nick Young score 19 points and go 3/4 from 3 for the Sixers?

Glen Davis needs his PB&J

Well, Big Baby had an awful, awful game last night going 4/16 from the field for just 11 points in 23 minutes including 1 for his first 8 in which he took a bunch of shots that would make Swaggy P proud.  Jacques Vaughn was none too impressed with his play and benched the big dumbass for the second half.  After some thorough investigative reporting, sources close to the Magic have found the reason for

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Your 2013 ROY, Damian Lillard

Damian Lillard is force feeding me my words from my October 8 preview of the Northwest Division in which I idiotically said, "With rookie Damian Lillard out of Weber St. starting at point for the Blazers, expect it to be a long, ugly year."  Though I still stick by my prediction of a 39-43 season for the Blazers (they are 20-21 right now), I could not have been any further off on Damian Lillard.  The kid is averaging 18.3ppg, 3.5 boards, close to 7 assists and a steal per game while playing close to 39 minutes per and shooting 42% from the field and 83% from the line.  Those are Rookie of the Year numbers, period.  It's not even close.  Washington's Bradley Beal has come on lately (because of injuries) but has been wildly inconsistent on the year.  Other candidates are Michael Kidd-Gilchrist, Anthony Davis, Andre Drummond, Harrison Barnes and Dion Waiters but none are even in the same stratosphere as Lillard.

Last night he showed us a shocking example of his athleticism and was kind enough to allow Nene to join him on his next poster.  I know Nene isn't European, but I'm filing this in the same category.  Wow.

Fanning out on Steph Curry

GOD DAMN!  That is as good of a pass as you can make in basketball, simple as that.  Curry is having a breakout year, coincidentally in the same season he has kept his ankles in one piece.  Last night he led the Warriors over the Clippers, who were tied for the best record in the L at tipoff.  The win put Golden State up 3-1 in the season series against the Clips, and are the only team to have been LAC twice.  Putting up 21, 7 & 4 and putting up some ridiculous highlights, he should be headed for the All Star game and looking like a dangerous team to see in the playoffs.  Steph, next time you're bored, come over to da club.  Got a VIP table and some champagne on ice with your name on it. 

Monday, January 21, 2013

K. Smooth and another NBA first

The weekend tore through da club like K. Smooth tore through the Mavs' defense on Friday night.  It left us all hungover, burping up Italian meats and asking why we put up with our 40 hour a week cube jobs.

That all being said, this isn't about us, our shitty jobs or our bad attitudes.  This is about someone who found the key to averting the life of a desk jockey: grow to be almost 7 feet tall and have a freakish 7'5" wing span.  I give you the NBA's best player, Kevin Durant.  Last night, he became the first player in NBA history to make 20+ free throws in back to back games.  He is now 41/42 from the line over his last 2 and an insane 91% from the charity stripe this season.  In those last two, he has combined to score 89 points.  For those of you that are math challenged, that's almost 45ppg.  45!

I'd say with recent injuries, the MVP race has now fallen squarely on Durant vs. LeBron.  If I were a betting man, my money would be on the protagonist to unseat the villain for MVP and for NBA supremacy.

Saturday, January 19, 2013

Scalabrine on KG

K. Smooth shows the world why he will win the MVP this year

Holy shit.  What a game.  In all honesty, this was probably one of the uglier 50 point games of all time. K. Smooth shot a mortal 13/31 from the field including a dismal stretch in the 4th quarter where he missed 8 straight shots to let the Mavs back in the game.  He made up for it in OT though, hitting 2 huge 3's and a ridiculous step back, fade away that would make Kobe proud.  While K. Smooth was human from the floor, he was an astonishing 21/21 from the line and 5/9 from 3 to finish with 52 points.  He also threw in 9 boards, an assist and 2 steals in 50 minutes.

What I think is amazing about this game and this performance is the way that Smooth continued to fight.  Most players in the league would defer to the #2 when going through a cold stretch like he hit in the 4th, but he kept playing his game and rewarded OKC with a gritty, OT win in Dallas.

I think Kareem hit the nail on the head this week when he said we could be watching the best scorer of all time.

Couple MASSIVE throwdowns last night

As reported in da club this week, J-Smoove seems to be on the outs in Atlanta due to a strange practice incident in which Smith intimidated Coach Larry Drew with some of his "physical attributes".  The media has reported potential suitors include the Mavs, Rockets and Grizzlies but sources inside da club peg the Philadelphia 76ers as the dark horse.

Trade rumors aside, J-Smoove made Brook Lopez look silly last night with a throwdown so aggressive that Robin Lopez woke up in a cold sweat.  Lopez was even able to get a shot to Smith's head that only served to anger the beast.

Last night, Serge Ibaka played one of our favorite roles here in da club, the European Center that loves getting facialized.  Vince Carter channeled his Vinsanity days and not only embarassed Ibaka but the entire country of Spain.  Sources at the U.S. Embassy in Madrid have reported that Spain is considering blocking all U.S. tourists for the next year to try to discourage future teabagging incidents.

Friday, January 18, 2013

Top 5 - Bottom 3

Welcome back to the weekly power rankings at the Club. We're about halfway through the regular season, a time when teams begin actively attempting to grab a VIP table in the Club's Top 5. So many teams have high hopes, yet only a chosen few get mentioned as the elite. Three poor franchises even get mentioned for being so, so poor at what they are getting paid to do. Get buckets.

Top 5:
1. Miami Heat
2. OKC Thunder
3. LA Clippers
4. San Antonio Spurs
5. Memphis Grizzlies

The Heat remain top dogs in the East and the Association, but OKC and Lob City are playing well enough to be put into title contender discussion. These three, along with San Antonio, currently represent the teams with any hope of raising the Larry O'Brien trophy in June.

Bottom 3:
1. Charlotte Bobcats
2. Cleveland Cavaliers
3. Phoenix Suns

Phoenix moves back into the garbage dump this week (they fired their coach today), but are thoroughly outplaying others in the bottom three. Jordan's Charlotte Bobcats hot start (7-5 in first 12 games) has become a very distant memory, as they are 2-24 since.. Ew. 

Must Watch Games this Weekend:
Golden State @ San Antonio (Fri -7pm)
Memphis @ Chicago (Sat - 8pm)
OKC @ Denver (Sun - 8pm)

Broke Ass NBA Games this Weekend to Avoid:
Charlotte @ Orlando (Fri - 7pm)
Sacramento @ Charlotte (Sat - 7pm)

Dwight Howard's poor free throw shooting leads to spike in kitten deaths

Luckily free throws aren't what wins and loses games according to this genius.  Wait... the Lakes lost last night after he missed both these free throws when they were down 92-90?  I'm sure that didn't have any bearing on the outcome of the game.  They lost because of poor defense and poor defense alone.

Every time Dwight Howard misses a free throw, Ron Ron kicks a kitten.  Howard has single-handedly helped control that cat population of Los Angeles. 

Great job, Dwight!

Ricky the Kid should stick to passing

Ricky the Kid sure isn't a scorer but even Ron Artest could make this shot...

Rubio is one of the most gifted young point guards in the league but his knee really seems to be effecting his play.  As of last night's game, he ranked dead last in the league in field goal percentage at the rim, making just 25 percent of his attempts. What's even more concerning is he's making just 21 percent of his jumpers.  Those numbers coupled with the absence of Milk Chocolate spell doom for the 'Wolves and make my early season prediction look like crazy person talk.  (In my defense, the 'Wolves have been good when healthy.)

Oooooh Child

The Heat came to LA and took down the Lakers, who played a surprisingly tough game.  Obviously this season, beating the Lakers in LA isn't as glamorous as it usually is, but they came out with something to prove and still couldn't get it done.  Because of LeBron.  There's a lot of highlights to go with his 39/8/7/3, but nothing is better than this pass.  Splitting 3 defenders (and Kobe, bringing up the rear.  Nice D!) for a very fashionable dunk.  Unreal vision

Thursday, January 17, 2013

Throwback Thursday with Chuck

In a move that would surely merit 5/5 Paul Pierces on the Paul Pierce Wheelchair Scale (if solely based on participants, time in career, stage), here is the classic crossover of Jordan performed by the one and only A.I. during the 1997 All-Star game.

Bonus video!  Moment still gives me chills.  I really thought the Sixers had a chance.  Surely another 5/5 Paul Pierces.

Big Baby Davis at it again

Yesterday, we referenced Big Baby's puzzling "pull your own pants down to protest a foul call" incident last year and as it turns out, that was a perfect prerequisite to the dance move he debuted last night.

Don't even try to tell me that move wasn't hot as shit because you'd be a bigger liar than Manti Te'o.

Cavs highlights!

Ignoring Chuck's laughable claim in the previous post, here's a couple highlights from last night that were overlooked while clamoring about Bron's most recent highlights.  Cleveland Cavaliers, past and present, ran the show last evening.

First, here is Kyrie straight dusting Damian Lillard.  This isn't a crossover, but if it was, he'd get 5/5 Paul Pierces.  Kyrie is so good

But the real highlight of the night is JJ HICKSON DOMINATION!  Alonzo Gee's face afterwards is awesome.  At least he can own up to it. 

The Best Player in the League Throwing Down

Another European being victimized by K. Smooth in one of the most aggressive dunks you will see this year.  Yikes.

BronBron setting more records

In a blowout of the Warriors, yaboi LeBron became the youngest player in NBA history to reach 20,000 points and also got his 5,000th assist.  Those are both pretty big milestones, so let's get some perspective on this. 

  • While the youngest to reach 20k points, he was the 8th-fastest.  However, he is second on the list of games needed to reach 20k points & 5k assists, behind only Oscar Robertson. 
  • He is one of only 11 players in the 20k points/5k rebounds/5k assists club.
  • Earlier this season, Chris Paul became the youngest, and 5th-fastest to reach 5k assists, needing 510 games.  LeBron took 726.
  • With his expanded rebound rate, you can easily see him reaching 20/10/5, which would put him in company with only Kareem, Malone, and Garnett. 
  • Since 2007, LeBron has led the league in combined Pts/Asts/Rebs every year except one, in which he came in second to Kevin Love 41.4 to 41.3
  • In the win last night, Bron got 25pts/10ast/7reb.  In the last 10 years, he has had 49 games where he reached at least those numbers.  Next on the list?  Kobe with 12
  • He is second in the league with 14 20pt/10reb games this year, behind David Lee at 16
  • And for a few predictions: If LeBron can average 22pts/5assts per game for the next 10 years, he would finish as the NBAs leading scorer, and 7th all-time on the assists list (being the only forward in the top 25)
  • LeBron's career totals will almost certainly flirt with 30k pts/10k reb/10k asts/2k stls/1k blks.  Should he get there, he'd be the only one in da club

You may not like him, but at least appreciate you're watching one of the 5 best players to ever pick up a basketball, possibly even the best. 

(Some stats thanks to ESPN and Chris Palmer)

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Time to play the Feud!

Boston Celtics Coach Doc Rivers has made hundreds of game plans while coach of C's. None will be like the one he has prepared for tonight's game, when he will face his son Austin and the New Orleans Hornets.

Truthfully, Doc does not seem terribly excited about the chance to coach against one of his kids..

"I've always thought he had a shot of being in the league, but I never thought about coaching against him. You don't ever think about that part. Then when he gets drafted you think, 'Wow, I'm going to go up against my son.' Not literally, I'll be in a suit and tie, so I can't do anything. But, again, it's just something -- I'll be glad when the game's over. I can put it that way."

While the conflict in Doc's mind is somewhat expected, the actual game could provide some very interesting dynamics. How will Doc defend his son when he is on the court? If Austin Rivers has an easy path to the bucket, will the Celtics players hesitate to throw a hard foul?  

Fall Out from the Bulls Beat Down of Atlanta

Once again, da club has breaking news from one of our VIPs:

According to sources close to the Atlanta Hawks, J-Smoove pulled a Big Baby Davis at practice yesterday in a moment of insanity brought on by the Monday night thrashing in Chicago.  Hawks' coach, Larry Drew, was blown away with what he saw.  Smith's nether regions hung down to his knee pit and threw the rest of the squad into a tizzy preventing some from resuming practice because of dizziness and nausea.  Smith has been suspended 1 game for "conduct detrimental to the team" in what can only be deemed an act of jealousy from Coach Drew. 

I question how these two can coexist moving forward.  As a result of the incident, there have been rumblings around the league of the possible trade of Smith by the February 21  

Story developing!

White Men Can Jump. Sort of.

This dunk last night was tipped off by Left Coast Pete, who accurately described it as "the Slowest Dunk in Basketball History". Former Pitt Panther Aaron Gray took advantage to a rare chance to start by throwing down like a boss. Makes you wonder what kind of talent the Raptors are hiding on their bench.

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Bulls Beat Down High School Team

Wait a second, that was actually the Hawks!  When I first saw this story, I thought the Bulls were the team on the receiving end of the beat down and this story was going to be all about how bad the Bulls need Poohdini back on the court.  Man, was I wrong.  Josh Smith, Al Horford, Lou Williams, Jeff Teague; all respectable basketball players, should be completely embarrassed.  I'm not talking just embarrassment over the final score, but with the fact that some guy named Mike Scott, who only played 16 minutes and whose name sounds like one you would tell a cop in response to the "what's your name" question when you were caught drinking at age 16, led the Hawks in scoring with just 10 points.

I'll tell you what... if the Bulls can stay on this pace and make the playoffs and if Pooh comes back even close to his former self, their second round series with Miami is going to be a war.  It's already pretty well documented that D. Rose hates Lebron and the Heat are going to have no answer for Noah on the boards so the Bulls will average more than one shot per offensive possession. 

I am saying right now IF Pooh comes back strong, Chicago wins that series.

D. Wade May Not Be The Worst, But He's Pretty Bad

I can't put into words how much I despise Dwyane Wade.  Here he is being a little bitch and getting a fan kicked out that probably paid $500+ to sit courtside to watch him PLAY BASKETBALL.  $500.  To watch a BASKETBALL GAME.  If you think the fashionista would be grateful, you'd be thinking wrong.  I'd say $500 entitles you to do a little bit of heckling, but that's just me.

I think the thing that is really grinding my gears is that D. Wade is having the 2nd worst season of his career statistically (the worst since his rookie campaign), yet he is the leading vote getter among guards in the East and is a virtual lock to start the All-Star game.  All the while, Jrue Holiday is having a career year and sits at 8th in voting behind 2 guys that have been injured for long stretches (Irving and Felton), 2 guys that are having down years (Wade and Williams), a guy that is a proven loser (Ellis) and a skeleton (Allen).  The only guy ahead of Jrue that I can even begin to agree with is Rondo, but even then, Rondo is not as important to his team as Jrue is to the Sixers.  Without Jrue, the Sixers went 0-4 losing by an average of 13 points.  Without Rondo, the Celtics are 2-3.  Jrue is 14th in the league in scoring and 4th in the league in assists.  How can fans not notice the brilliant season he is putting together????

Larry already said it but having the fans vote for the starters is fucking stupid.  I get that the All-Star game is just a money maker in the NBA's eyes, but the show that they could put on by actually having the best players that season compete in the All-Star game would be incredible.

From, current All-Star voting results below.

Frontcourt: LeBron James (Mia) 1,151,304, Carmelo Anthony (NYK) 1,054,099, Kevin Garnett (Bos) 390,751, Chris Bosh (Mia) 362,973, Tyson Chandler (NYK) 315,752, Paul Pierce (Bos) 205,096, Joakim Noah (Chi) 158,743, Josh Smith (Atl) 131,508, Anderson Varejao (Cle) 116,166, Shane Battier (Mia) 107,190, Amar'e Stoudemire (NYK) 104,109, Andrew Bynum (Phi) 93,611, Luol Deng (Chi) 90,736, Brook Lopez (BKN) 76,695, Jeff Green (Bos) 62,367
Backcourt: Dwyane Wade (Mia) 765,077, Rajon Rondo (Bos) 675,822, Deron Williams (BKN) 350,618, Kyrie Irving (Cle) 308,878, Ray Allen (Mia) 232,441, Monta Ellis (Mil) 84,609, Raymond Felton (NYK) 77,123, Jrue Holiday (Phi) 66,514, Jason Terry (Bos) 62,189, Brandon Jennings (Mil) 56,826

Frontcourt: Kevin Durant (OKC) 1,088,797, Dwight Howard (LAL) 716,671, Blake Griffin (LAC) 593,024, Tim Duncan (SA) 352,534, Pau Gasol (LAL) 239,440, Kevin Love (Min) 221,291, Omer Asik (Hou) 160,935, Rudy Gay (Mem) 140,864, Serge Ibaka (OKC) 134,172, Marc Gasol (Mem) 114,465, LaMarcus Aldridge (Por) 111,156, Zach Randolph (Mem) 111,046, Dirk Nowitzki (Dal) 106,623, Metta World Peace (LAL) 106,025, Chandler Parsons (Hou) 93,057
Backcourt: Kobe Bryant (LAL) 1,177,456, Chris Paul (LAC) 651,893, Jeremy Lin (Hou) 605,624, James Harden (Hou) 337,585, Russell Westbrook (OKC) 268,558, Steve Nash (LAL) 202,274, Tony Parker (SA) 128,966, Ricky Rubio (Min) 112,352, Stephen Curry (GS) 97,761, Manu Ginobili (SA) 84,564

Oh shit (part 7)

I really don't want to over-use this Paul Pierce wheelchair scale, but if dudes are going to be falling down left and right all season, well, my hands are tied. 

Which takes us to our nations capital, where John Wall has FINALLY been able to start playing.  Great to see him out there and I hope he can get back on track to being one of the best young guards in the League.  He looked pretty great while sending Ish Smith (Ish?  Seriously?) all over the place with a left-handed behind the back dribble.

Left hand, behind the back, defender falling, successful basket, John Wall returning AND a thorough Wizards win?!  This baby is getting the coveted 5 OUT OF 5 PAUL PIERCES.  Congrats Wall, we'll all do a dougie in your honor

UPDATE:  As it turns out, John Wall's crossup was an act of revenge!  Earlier in the game, Ish straight up jumped over John Wall going for a block.  He missed, but he turned around and got his:

As previously noted, Wall ended up with the last laugh.

K. Smooth Doing The Blake Power Layup

Holy bejesus.  The European Center adage rings true once again.  These guys just love the poster publicity. 

No Ibaka last night?  No problem.  K. Smooth threw up 41 points on 15/30 from the field and didn't turn the ball over once in OKC's 102-90 win at Phoenix.  I am officially starting the Kevin Durant for 2013 MVP campaign right now.  Jump on board or end up with a boo boo.

Monday, January 14, 2013

JaVale Being JaVale


If you didn't know already, JaVale McGee only tweets in RTs and always in all caps.  According to The Score, when asked why, bigdaddywookie said, “I consider myself a trend-setter, so a long time ago I decided, I think it was like a couple months, four months ago, I decided I won’t tweet again, so all I’ll do is retweet. So I technically don’t tweet, I just retweet.”


Trying to understand JaVale is like my 92 year old grandma trying to understand how I can pull up my bank account on my phone.  No hope.  Maybe that's what he's going for? 

JaVale McGee, an enigma wrapped in a puzzle wrapped in a question wrapped in those stupid, lenseless glasses all the guys are wearing these days.

Ron Ron's Dating Tips (Part II)

Metta World Peace once again showing up all the other fellas in da club with his smooth ways.

PS cannot believe that ball found its way into the basket.  Only Metta.

Oh shit (part 6)

On Saturday night James Harden and the Rockets brought their beards to South Philly.  The Sixers picked up a great win to hopefully jumpstart their climb back into the playoff picture.  Jeremiah took a second to shake the bejeezus out of Jrue with a behind the back through the legs crossover, with about 3 double-dribbles mixed in there.  But who cares about that.  Soak this in

Absurd move, but it probably should have been called back, and they lost the game.  4/5 Paul Pierces here.

Steve Novak Shit Talking? What?

This is actually pretty hilarious.  After the Knicks' 108-101 loss to the Bulls at MSG on Saturday, Powder took exception to Nate Robinson imitating his discount double check celebration.  Love feuds between guys who spend a majority of their time on bench.  In this game they played a combined 26 minutes.

Sunday, January 13, 2013

Spencer Hawes Frequents the Club

Philadelphia 76ers Center Spencer Hawes stepped into the club this weekend to see if all the rumors were true. As one of the country's premier destinations, Club Bosh often attracts athletes and celebrities alike. LL Cool J and Lil' Kim frequent the club regularly when they are lookin for dat rosay and chronic.

Needless to say, Hawes was impressed and satisfied in gettin' his. Here he is with fellow clubrat Pauly P down in South Phila. Why does Spencer Hawes rep the Wings? Fuck if I know. But relax with your hate. He's white and can hang in the Association. What have you done recently?

Friday, January 11, 2013

Kevin Garnett's Weekend Advice

I don't know about you guys, but I'm ready to go drink 15 ginskeys and start a bar fight.

Grown. Ass. Man.

JR Smith took out some frustration last night on some innocent Frenchman that has no business being in the Association to begin with. Stay out of his way, or  you'll pay. Listen to what he has to say.

Kobe Sets Another Record

With his final missed shot on Tuesday night against the Rockets (came with 2:27 left in the 4th quarter), Kobe Bryant missed his 15,296 career field goal attempt, passing John Havlicek for the most field goal attempts missed in NBA history, combining regular and posteason numbers.

Thursday, January 10, 2013

Throwback Thursday with Chuck

Since social media loves throwback Thursday, I'm going to start loving throwback Thursday, too.  Below is a video from 2008 of Ernie clownin' on Chuck.  What a joker!

Kenny is as surprised as we are with his 19 and 19

This is actually the first time I've ever heard Kenny talk.  I don't care, I'm still going to pretend he talks like a neanderthal

Dunk of the year?

That is a pretty ridiculous dunk from the Fresno St - SDSU game.  Lots of "Dunk of the Year" talk.  Personally, I don't think so.  Harrison Barnes has him beat:

And then there's this Victor Duke high school dunk:

Lots of great dunks and surely more to come (We all know BronBron and KSmoove have something up their sleeves), but I'm going with Barnes for now.
In ya face!

Minnesota's Last Hope: Ricky Rubio

With Kevin Love out 6-8 weeks, there isn't much sunshine on the horizon for the Minnesota Timberwolves.  During OKC's 106-84 demolition of the 'Wolves last night, there was one, fleeting bright spot, a between the legs pass from Ricky Rubio between 2 Thunder defenders to Lou Amundson.  Unfortunately, the bright spot went dark as soon as the ball hit Lou's hands.  The resulting shot attempt was one of the ugliest layup (hook shot?) attempts I have ever seen.  If only that pass was to Milk Chocolate...

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Adios, Sacramento

Reports are abundant this afternoon that the Maloof family will finally sell their majority stake of the Sacramento Kings franchise to a group seeking to relocate the franchise to Seattle.

This move has been expected since the Maloofs and the City of Sacramento were unable to finalize a deal for a new arena last year. The Maloof brothers have been losing their millions by the day and this move was somewhat expected. I mean, what other NBA owners could you see reppin Carl's Jr?

Yesterday the Club requested a NBA team come back to Seattle, and in under 24 hours, apparently the request will be granted.

The only question left to answer.. will the Kings nickname move with the franchise, or will the SuperSonics once again reign supreme in the upper Northwest?

Gatsby, you prick

MWP is going to stick Nancy Grace on your ass for this one, Steve.

P.J. Carlesimo No Longer Choke Artist?

So as Larry so eloquently stated in his post below, we had the displeasure of watching the Nets shart in the Sixers' Cheerios last night.  The demolition means that the Nets have now won 6 of 7 since Prokhorov fired Avery Johnson and replaced him, at least on an interim basis, with the infamous P.J. Carlesimo.

The whole time we were sitting in our swanky, 200 level seats, I could not get over the fact that this was the same P.J. Carlesimo who in 1997 was choked by and then punched by Latrell Spreewell, who judging by the latest news has really been an upstanding citizen since retiring.  The incident occurred at a practice after P.J. told Spree to "put a little mustard" on his passes and Spree responded that he was not in the mood for criticism and P.J. should keep his distance.  As we all know, P.J. didn't keep his distance and the rest is history.

Anyway, the reason I bring this up now is that the Nets have a guy on their squad that has a career marked in bad attitudes and off court problems much like Spree.  That guy is Andray Blatche, who as of Monday night was being questioned in a reported sexual assault case involving two members of his entourage.  Sources close to the situation have reported that when police arrived at Blatche's hotel room, they found multiple pills of a date rape drug.  Although Blatche has been surprisingly productive this year, P.J. is not going to tolerate an off court distraction.  There have already been rumors around the Brooklyn locker room that P.J. has confronted 'Dray about his bad behavior and he responded for P.J. to "stay the hell away".  Seems to me to bring this P.J. coaching thing full circle, the next step to this story should be some type of 'Dray homage to the infamous 1997 choke.

Here's to hoping for a full scale Nets' implosion.

Club Bosh takes in Sixers v BKNY

Chuck was kind enough to take me out on the town last night to South Philadelphia. We came in with high hopes for our hometown Sixers, who were just returning from a tough 8-game West Coast road trip (which they finished 2-6).  Not only did they have a tough road trip, but Jrue and the boys were on a 3-game losing streak, and 3-11 in their last 14(!!!!) coming into last night.  Their playoff hopes are slowly slipping away, and what better time to start turning things around than a game against a  legit divisional foe who is rounding into form. 

A decent but uneventful first half saw Brooklyn lead by one.  Jrue was playing well, and Spencer Hawes was hitting some midrange shots (while not collecting any god damn rebounds).  Beyond them, it was rough.  ET was chucking up a lot of ill-advised shots, and Nick Young, HOLY HELL NICK YOUNG.  Guy fucking sucks.  It's crazy to watch his game in person.  Shot the ball as soon as he got it for probably his first 5 touches, missing everything.  But the third quarter saw Philly completely and utterly collapse.  Some of the worst basketball I've watched in a long time.  The Sixers scored 4 points in the first 7 MINUTES of the quarter, en route to being outscored 35-14, and sealing the game for Brooklyn.  4th quarter was meaningless and unwatchable.

  • Jrue finished with a nice 19 & 8, and is the only player besides RussRuss to average over 18&8.  The talent level drop-off when he goes to the bench is absurd.
  • Deron and Iso Joe were hitting a lot of tough shots, which doesn't make things easy.
  • Ya know what else doesn't make things easy?  When Reggie god damn Evans has 23 rebounds and DOESN'T PLAY IN THE 4th QUARTER.
  • The Sixers were truly miserable to watch after half, and the crowd let them hear it.
  • Even if Bynum comes back, it looks like it may not be enough to salvage the season. 

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

David Stern. A Model Idiot?

Last week, Commish David Stern appeared on the SVP & Russillo radio program to discuss his final year in charge of the NBA. He spoke on a variety of topics, including a possible expansion of the Association to Europe.

The NBA. In Europe. What are you, nuts?

NBA players already hate playing in crappy markets like Milwaukee, Minnesota and Utah... you think Caron Butler and others would be down to live and work in Paris?

I doubt it. Not to mention the travel demands that would be needed for teams that are literally 10 hours apart. West Coast games would start at 4 or 5 in the morning for the European markets. European games would start in the morning or mid afternoon depending on what part of the country you live in. Since we all know TV ratings run all the major professional leagues in 'murica, this idea seems a bit ridiculous.

Instead, I am proposing to move all NBA franchises back to this great country, the good ol' U S of A. Toronto is the lone Canadian franchise still around and I think the Commish should be focusing his efforts to bring that franchise back to the right side of Niagara Falls.

Seattle or St. Louis are just a few of many American cities that are capable of and readily available to take the Raptors. Do the right thing David. Canada Sucks.

Melo v KG

Sources close to the situation tell the VIPs up in da club that 'Melo was upset about a ball tap sent his way by KG during the Knicks 102-96 loss on Monday night.  Obviously the grandfather of trash talk got in 'Melo's head because he ended the game an awful, 6/26 from the field for 20 points with only 3 boards.

I'm loving these off the court, almost fights this year.  Can't wait until one actually boils over into a brawl.

Credit for this find goes to one of da club's dear friends, The Polish Tabletopper. 

Nothing to see here!

See!  Kobe and D12 are joking around, and ol Mikey Defense is stuck in the middle!  Fun-loving teammates and coaches, the lot of em!  Nothing wrong with the Lakers, no sir, everyone just move along...