Friday, May 31, 2013


The Heat played like shit (other than U-God), but Lebron decided that he wasn't losing, great game, whatever. Finally got the white boy rumble we've been waiting for:
It all started with a cheap shot from Birdman, but he definitely got the last laugh. Ain't easy being Psycho T.

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

K. Smooth WITHERS!!!

Even though he finished with 27-7-7, Kevin Durant was 2-for-8 from the field in the fourth quarter and then 0-for-5 in overtime in the Thunder's loss to Memphis last night. Ol' Business Tats was the first NBA player in five years to miss at least 11 field-goal attempts after the third quarter in a postseason game. Mike Conley, Jr. lead Memphis with 24, and Z-Bo once again dominated down low, getting his to the tune of 23 and 12. Meanwhile, Marc Gasol put up 23 and 11 to go with 6 blocks to lead the Grizzlies.

Thursday, May 9, 2013

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Nate Robinson Goes Into No Man's Land

Lebron and the Heat pulled even with Chicago this evening. 5 techs in the first quarter and a physical game (Wentz's boyfriend got tossed), but then the South Beach squad just took it to the Bulls.
The real story was Nate Robinson daring to go And-1 on Bosh Spice.
Ballsy move by lil' Nate. Remember, this is not the first time he has clowned the Keeper of the Great Sword of Gord-Dak-Tox. I would watch my back out there in the multiverse if I were you, Nate. Expect a visit from Wolfman Mike Miller.

Yeah JR!

After another epic 3-15 shooting night, JR Smith decided to join club VIP Rihanna up in da club.  Questionable behavior during the playoffs, but the boys here at da club encourage players to go get what's theirs.  Did JR in fact give Rihanna the pipe?  Are JR and Chris Brown preparing diss tracks?  Sources working to find out.  Stay posted.


Come on bruh, do me a solid

Dennis Rodman is well known for his eccentric lifestyle and fearless play on the hardwood.  Lately, he has transitioned into his new role as US Ambassador to North Korea / Secret government spy.  After a much-publicized trip to fraternize with Kim Jong Un, Rodman is back on the campaign trail.  He's now begun his public outcry for the release of American prisoner Kenneth Bae.  Bae was jailed for disrespecting the Dear Leader by taking photographs of starving children, and sentenced to hard labor.  An obviously precarious situation, which Rodman read with the wisdom of a political veteran.  His plea to the Supreme Leader is as follows:

Come on, Kim!  Do me a solid!

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Don't count K. Smooth out just yet...

This should've been posted yesterday but I have a real life and a big boy job that required too much attention for me to get it up (cue erection jokes) so go fuck yourselves.  K. Smooth had an absolute monster of a game on Sunday.  35 points on 13/26 from the field to go along with 15 boards.  The highlight came on a 20 footer with 11.2 seconds left that gave the Thunder the lead for good.  The Thunder trailed for the entire contest and had absolutely no business winning this game.  Ibaka had 5 points on 1/10 from the field to go with 5 boards.  For the Thunder to win this series, he has to be substantially better.  K. Smooth willed this team to the win.  He had 12 of his points in the final 8 minutes and put each one of his teammates in his backpack and carried them to the promised land.

I know it's only game one, but everyone that counted the Thunder out needs to rethink their prediction.

This is how it feels to watch Steph Curry play on a nightly basis

This is also how it looks to have your mind blown.  Big night in the Association last night.  Steph Curry went for 44 on 18/35 from the field but the Warriors found a way to choke away a 15 point lead and lose on a Manu Ginobili 3 with 1.4 seconds left by a score of 129-127.  After Curry's 22 point 3rd quarter (on 9/12 shooting mind you), Bazemore and the bench boys had seen enough to know their brains were melting which produced the incredible gif below.  Really hope the Warriors can make a series out of this but that is just about as crushing a defeat as you can come across (especially considering Golden State hasn't won in San Antonio since 1997).

I'll let Larry and Benny elaborate on what the Queen and her men did last night... 

Friday, May 3, 2013

Oh shit (Part 9)

The scene: Game 6, in ChiTown.  Bulls improbably lead the series 3-2, missing half of their team, facing a Brooklyn Nets team desparate to prove they're worth all the money that crazy Ruski is paying them.  And nobody has put forth more effort than Nate Robinson, who has to secretly be happy the team is so injury-ridden.  Nothing like a shooter getting an excuse to put up 25 shots/game. 

So when little Nate sees the big goon Kris Humphries switched on to him, you can see his eyes light up.  Time to bust out the And-1 shit.

As expected, Nate leaves Humphries in the dust with ease, making a fool of the mouthbreather.  Awesome hesitation move, completely burns the cool guy, and scores.  But no fall, and the Bulls go on to lose the game.  Nate Robinson, I award you 4/5 Paul Pierce Wheelchairs.

Sorry, Kris. 

Thursday, May 2, 2013

Truth to all that nasty trash talk?

Sources close to the club have confirmed that KG gave the pipe to LaLa Anthony prior to Game 5 at the Garden last night.  The GIF below shows a heartfelt Jordan Crawford breaking the news to Melo after the Celtics disposed of the Knicks 92-86 to force Game 6 in Beantown.  Crawford can be seen trying to comfort Anthony, who was said to have some suspicion prior to tip because LaLa was wearing a KG jersey and smelled like fish.  All this could explain Melo's awful 22 points on 8/24 from the field.  Poor guy.  Hopefully he and Crawford settled into a couch after the game and watched some How To Lose A Guy in 10 Days.

The Mythical Double Charge

Can't argue with Benny... no excuse for Smoove not scoring a single fourth quarter point last night.  Guy was the only one who showed up though, putting up 36, 7 and 7.  If the Thunder don't have enough firepower to win when he puts up a line like that, its only a matter of time before they end up Kobe'd.  Oh and that guy who OKC got in the Harden deal?  2 points last night on 1/10 from the field.  Awesome.  Am I the only one who thinks the Rockets are a much better team with Patrick Beverley (burn in hell) at point than Jeremy Lin?  The curse of Jeremiah lives on.  First he injures Russ Russ then he injures Lin so he gives way to the superior player.

I'm also not going to make any comments on Scotty's ridiculous HackAsik strategy.  I guess if nothing else is working, you might as well try to pull a bunny out of your top hat.  yaknowwhatimean?

We did get to see an occurrence that prior to last night was thought to share the same real estate as the Loch Ness Monster, Bigfoot, Ben Wallace's offensive game and Marty's self control; the vaunted double flop.

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Harden Runs OKC

I don't care who wins the series, that Harden three off the roll-out proves that he is the boss in OKC no matter what.
Hack-A-Sheikh? Nice strategy, Scotty.
More importantly, Smoov carried the load in the third, scoring 18. Unfortunately, he withered like a little bitch in the fourth and didn't score a single point (although he did get T'd up for acting like a petulant child).

Andrew Bynum. Fuck yourself.

Notice Philadelphia 76ers Center Andrew Bynum recently on vacation in Spain.

The amount of hate I have for this individual cannot possibly translate on a blog. Just isn't possible.

This piece of shit steals over 16 million this year for a job in which he DID NOT DO. Not once did this motherfucker put on a jersey. Not one time. Barely sat on the bench either and pretended to be a teammate. Bull can dance and bowl and cash fucking checks, but somehow managed to not even give playing for his salary a chance.

Bynum was seen over the past 12 months bowling, taking jumpers with a cell phone in his sock, having a style worst that this cat, salsa dancing, and making it rain on Columbus Blvd. Personally, I could see this cat going both ways down at Delilah's and making a little extra cash behind the joint dry rubbin' bulls for $8.25.

Here is a picture of Bynum cleaning up from a cum shot. Fuck yourself, Andrew.