Warning: Insane Sixers Rant Below

Could it get any more soft than Spencer Hawes?  Seriously.  This guy is 7'1" and insists on playing at the top of the key where he makes a living bricking jumpers and trying to be a point guard.  Here's an idea, Spencer, why don't you get your fat fucking ass under the basket and let your All-Star point guard worry about running the show?

I had the pleasure of watching the Clippers dunk on the Sixers every way imaginable last night as they rolled to a 107-90 victory at the Wells Fargo.  The Sixers trailed by as much as 32 in the game and the 17 point margin of victory does the Clippers dominance no justice.  It was thorough.  It was complete.  It was powerful.

My disgust for this team peaked when Hawes let chubby chaser, Blake Griffin,  dunk of him for the one millionth, one hundred seventy six thousandth, five hundred and sixty fourth time.  Have a little self respect, Spencer!  The guy is making your sexy girlfriend wetter than the Atlantic with every dunk and not once does it go through your head to foul the guy?  Maybe don't let him put his dick in your face on this trip to the hoop?  Put him on his back and maybe next time he'll think twice about putting his balls in your eye.  Instead, you let him to the rim relatively uncontested where he throws down on you so hard, fucking Evan Turner starts giggling like the little school girl bitch he is.

I am so happy I only have to deal with Spencer Hawes for one more year.  He is a poor man's Pau Gasol and I hate Pau Gasol with the fire of a thousand suns.

That leads me to Evan Turner.  He has to go and he has to go now.  Get him out of here before the trade deadline.  He is a bust.  His wild inconsistency is doing nothing but hurting this team.  I get that he is having a career year.  I get that he has 10 double doubles this year which takes his CAREER total to 17.  He will NEVER be able to carry this team.  The Sixers still have a viable trade piece in him solely based on his potential.  Get him out of here while you can still get something for his bum ass.  For him to be sitting on the bench giggling at Blake Griffin dunking on the marshmallow is completely inexcusable.  Obviously cares about this thing a lot less than the fans.  His response after the game about his reaction, “I wasn’t celebrating or nothing. I felt bad for my boy and how he’s forever going to live on in highlights.”  You felt bad so you were laughing?  First you suck at basketball then you insult my intelligence?  God damn!  Good riddance, Evan.  I hope that you stub your toe on the way out.

Matt Barnes' is a pansy

Matt Barnes better realize that my boy, Stiemsma, would break his frail, wannabe gangsta ass in half.  No reason for this unprovoked attack on the boy from Wisconsin.  He was setting a screen, Barnes, relax.  He wasn't trying to shank you or steal your wallet.  It's part of basketball.  You know?  The game you've been playing all your life?  Maybe you didn't notice while you were amassing that awful collection of tattoos or maybe you're confused that you're not playing in the prison yard anymore.  Either way, chill, dawg, chill.

D. Wade May Not Be The Worst, But He's Pretty Bad

I can't put into words how much I despise Dwyane Wade.  Here he is being a little bitch and getting a fan kicked out that probably paid $500+ to sit courtside to watch him PLAY BASKETBALL.  $500.  To watch a BASKETBALL GAME.  If you think the fashionista would be grateful, you'd be thinking wrong.  I'd say $500 entitles you to do a little bit of heckling, but that's just me.

I think the thing that is really grinding my gears is that D. Wade is having the 2nd worst season of his career statistically (the worst since his rookie campaign), yet he is the leading vote getter among guards in the East and is a virtual lock to start the All-Star game.  All the while, Jrue Holiday is having a career year and sits at 8th in voting behind 2 guys that have been injured for long stretches (Irving and Felton), 2 guys that are having down years (Wade and Williams), a guy that is a proven loser (Ellis) and a skeleton (Allen).  The only guy ahead of Jrue that I can even begin to agree with is Rondo, but even then, Rondo is not as important to his team as Jrue is to the Sixers.  Without Jrue, the Sixers went 0-4 losing by an average of 13 points.  Without Rondo, the Celtics are 2-3.  Jrue is 14th in the league in scoring and 4th in the league in assists.  How can fans not notice the brilliant season he is putting together????

Larry already said it but having the fans vote for the starters is fucking stupid.  I get that the All-Star game is just a money maker in the NBA's eyes, but the show that they could put on by actually having the best players that season compete in the All-Star game would be incredible.

From NBA.com, current All-Star voting results below.

2013 NBA ALL-STAR BALLOTING PRESENTED BY SPRINT EASTERN CONFERENCE
Frontcourt: LeBron James (Mia) 1,151,304, Carmelo Anthony (NYK) 1,054,099, Kevin Garnett (Bos) 390,751, Chris Bosh (Mia) 362,973, Tyson Chandler (NYK) 315,752, Paul Pierce (Bos) 205,096, Joakim Noah (Chi) 158,743, Josh Smith (Atl) 131,508, Anderson Varejao (Cle) 116,166, Shane Battier (Mia) 107,190, Amar'e Stoudemire (NYK) 104,109, Andrew Bynum (Phi) 93,611, Luol Deng (Chi) 90,736, Brook Lopez (BKN) 76,695, Jeff Green (Bos) 62,367
Backcourt: Dwyane Wade (Mia) 765,077, Rajon Rondo (Bos) 675,822, Deron Williams (BKN) 350,618, Kyrie Irving (Cle) 308,878, Ray Allen (Mia) 232,441, Monta Ellis (Mil) 84,609, Raymond Felton (NYK) 77,123, Jrue Holiday (Phi) 66,514, Jason Terry (Bos) 62,189, Brandon Jennings (Mil) 56,826

2013 NBA ALL-STAR BALLOTING PRESENTED BY SPRINT WESTERN CONFERENCE
Frontcourt: Kevin Durant (OKC) 1,088,797, Dwight Howard (LAL) 716,671, Blake Griffin (LAC) 593,024, Tim Duncan (SA) 352,534, Pau Gasol (LAL) 239,440, Kevin Love (Min) 221,291, Omer Asik (Hou) 160,935, Rudy Gay (Mem) 140,864, Serge Ibaka (OKC) 134,172, Marc Gasol (Mem) 114,465, LaMarcus Aldridge (Por) 111,156, Zach Randolph (Mem) 111,046, Dirk Nowitzki (Dal) 106,623, Metta World Peace (LAL) 106,025, Chandler Parsons (Hou) 93,057
Backcourt: Kobe Bryant (LAL) 1,177,456, Chris Paul (LAC) 651,893, Jeremy Lin (Hou) 605,624, James Harden (Hou) 337,585, Russell Westbrook (OKC) 268,558, Steve Nash (LAL) 202,274, Tony Parker (SA) 128,966, Ricky Rubio (Min) 112,352, Stephen Curry (GS) 97,761, Manu Ginobili (SA) 84,564

Monta Ellis Obviously on Chris B in Interview

He's gotta.  Only explanation for the ridiculous statement below.  I will be the first to tell you how bad I think Dwyane Wade is as a person and as a basketball player, but saying you're a better player than Dwyane Wade in a year when you are shooting just over 40% from the field and 26% from 3 while turning the ball over 3 times a game is not a good look.  Couple that with the exact reasons that Ellis lays out below and you tell me who you'd rather have... a douche who has proven he can win in the league or a douche that has never made the playoffs.

Awesome third person referral at the end of the video, too.  Damnit, Monta, you're doing it again!

Wizards Beat The Heat!

This guy is articulating everything I thought last night when I heard The Queen and Her Men lost to the Wizards.

Dwight Howard Loses Shooting Contest to Hockey Mascot

I just don't get it.  You make $20 million a year and you can't make a god damn free throw.  It drives me bonkers.  Surprisingly, Howard going 3-12 from the line in LA's loss to the hapless Pacers last night by 2 points was not his worst shooting performance of the day.  No, that was losing a shooting contest (video at bottom of page) to Bailey, the mascot of the LA Kings, a HOCKEY team.  Dude was draining shots with an over-sized lion's head on!  You seriously can't beat a mascot in a shooting contest?  Of course being the huge squid that he is, Howard used the old "I let him win" excuse when asked for reaction by reporters post contest.

Lebron Snubs Ben Savage on Handshake

LeBron snubbed Cory Matthews after he attempted to get some post game love on Thursday night in Denver.  Miami ended up beating Denver 98-93 on the back of a monster 27, 7 and 12 night from The Queen.

Lebron better watch out... Shawn Hunter is liable to track him down and beat his ass.

Bye Bye Dictator Stern

ESPN's Marc Stein reports that David Stern will be stepping down on February 1, 2014 and be replaced by Adam Silver.  The news will be formally announced tonight.

Listen, I appreciate what David Stern did for the NBA.  He brought the NBA back to relevancy and took it out of the days of tape delayed NBA finals.  I can't believe there was ever a time when the finals of one of the big 4 sports was tape delayed, but that's for another time.  For all the good he did, he was (is) an arrogant, power hungry, smug dictator (being smug is the worst of qualities) that ran over anyone who had the stones to stand up to him.  My hatred for David Stern boiled over during a recent radio interview with Jim Rome (Rome is a raging douche, too) where Rome asked Stern if the "fix was in" when referring to the Hornets (an NBA owned team at the time with a 13.7% chance of winning the #1 pick in the 2012 draft) winning the 2012 draft lotto.  The following insinuation and back and forth is the stuff dreams are made of.  Check out the audio below.  If you haven't heard it, it's fantastic.

I'm happy Stern is gone.  Maybe the NBA will stop fixing games now so K Smoove and the boys have a chance to knock off Stern's horse, LeBron.

Thanks for the story Blackface.

Ref, Marat Kogut feels the same way about LeBron James as I do...

Suck it, Lebron!

This proves it.  Andre Drummond is faster, quicker, bigger and more athletic than Lebron James.

Unfortunately, that's not true at all.  All this video proves is that Drummond can throw down a reverse alley oop with the best of 'em.  All this game proves is that the Pistons still could barely beat a college team and the Heat are still going to be title contenders.  Final score 105-78. 

Disclaimer: I don't actually think a college team could compete with the Pistons.

Heat Already Making Excuses

Are you kidding me?  The season is still 2 and a half weeks away and the Heat are already starting to get their excuses ready for when K Smoove and the boiz steamroll through Miami in June.  What is it this time?  They are complaining that they are TOO open from the 3 point line.  Seriously?? TOO open!?  Dummies.

Is LeBron really wearing a t-shirt with a picture of his face on it?  That's something I would do because I think it's funny.  LeBron isn't doing it to be funny; he's doing it because he thinks he's the man.  Douche.