Monta Ellis aka Rexy Champman!

Milwaukee Bucks guard Monta Ellis brought back shades of good ol' Rex Champman last night with a walk-off winner last night in Houston:

Chapman famously (best video) hit a similar one-footed jumper in the 1997 playoffs against the SuperSonics:

So what do you think clubbers, who's was more impressive?

I never thought the day would come when I would doubt Doug Collins

In one of the most atrocious games I can ever remember any one team playing, the Sixers were beaten handily by the hapless Orlando Magic last night 98-84.  This is the same Orlando Magic team whose best players are Glen Davis and Jameer Nelson.  GLEN DAVIS and JAMEER NELSON are the best players on the Magic and the Sixers still found a way to lose.  Wait... it gets worse.  Comically worse.

Glen Davis and Jameer Nelson did not even PLAY last night.  The game was IN South Philly.  Nic Vucevic, one of the guys who the Sixers traded to get Andrew Bynum and Jason Richardson, out rebounded Spencer Hawes and Levoy Allen by 14 rebounds.  14!!!!  He had 19 boards to Spence's 1 and Levoy's whopping, 4.  Did I mention that the guys we got in that trade are going to end the 2013 season playing a total of 33 games?  Wait... it gets worse.

After the game, the lovable Doug Collins decided to tie his team to the proverbial tracks and drive his locomotive full of blame back and forth over them for 12 minutes.  (Click here for full presser.  If you actually watch the video, check out DC's rapey smirks after his insults.  Made me feel like grandpa was watching me change my Underoos.)  Literally did not take an once of blame until almost 10 minutes into the presser.  Just crying, doing the old whole whoa is me routine.

Doug, we get it.  We get that you are coaching a team that is so bad they thought signing Kwame Brown preseason would be a phenomenal idea.  We get that you're senile (first comment below).  We get that you're pissed off you haven't achieved an erection without chemicals in years.  We get that you are dealing with a bunch of shitty injuries and the team you are coaching is not the same team you thought you would be coaching before this season started.  THIS IS WHAT YOU'RE PAID FOR.  You're paid to deal with all this shit and make it work.  You're paid to put a product on the floor that will at least LOOK interested in being there.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying you should be putting a playoff team on the floor right now with the guys you have.  Not even the Zen Master could do that.  All I'm saying is it's your job to put a team on the floor that will at least COMPETE, especially in a home game against a team that had only won 15 games before last night.  A team that had only won 6 games on the road all year and was in the midst of a 10 game road losing streak.  You owe that to the fans in Philadelphia.  This rant was not endearing.  It did not deflect blame.  It did not embody your city.  It made you sound like a kiss ass and it put the wheels in motion to send your wrinkled balls out to some retirement village in Arizona, far far away from our Sixers.

As Kemp put it to me last night, it's time for the ping pong balls.  (Don't be scared.  Go ahead.  Click on it.)  I'd like to say this is rock bottom.  I really would, but the remaining Sixers schedule is brutal culminating with 12 of their final 16 games on the road.  At this point, a top 5 pick is more likely than the playoffs.

My last comment would be to the Sixers' ownership group.  You knew what you were trading for and still decided to make that person the center of a massive advertising campaign.  How's that working out for you now, dumb-asses?  You've driven the once jovial, Doug Collins, to become a conniving little squid who only cares about saving face.

Some of the highlights are below.



"If everybody looked inside themselves as much as I do, this world would be a CAT scan.  Okay?  I mean, believe me.  I have.. there's not 2 days go by that I don't go to Rod, I don't go to Tony, 'What can I do? Can I do anything different? How can I be a better coach? How can I be a better leader? How can I help these guys?'  Sometimes you gotta help yourself.  You know? Sometimes you gotta help yourself.  Youth is a very blaming thing."

"Why are you booing me?  I'm the coach"

Asked about leaders on the team "We have players that have capabilities... Take ownership."

Guys feeling held hostage by Bynum situation.  "Is he playing?  Isn't he playing?"

"I'm not a blamer."

"I have not found an answer and I'm paid to do that."

Oh shit (part 9)

Steph Curry just dusting George Hill on the fast break.  Too bad Hill had to keep clawing at Stephs ankles instead of just letting him nab the layup.  Still a sick move by one of the best young players in the game.  Golden State went on to lose, however.  Ya boi Curry is getting 3/5 Paul Pierces here.

Awesome Club Fashion

Mike Woodson gets it.  Also, I will be needing one of those shirts, preferably in a smaller size than the XXXXL Mike is rocking here. 

Casual Pregame Warmups

Skip to 0:35.  Nothing to see here, just Bron coasting through the layup lines.  I'm pretty sure that's an actual move from NBA Street.  Unreal.

PS - LeBron's PER for the month of February is 37.  37!  Check his shot chart from the last month. 

Psycho T not happy that Will Bynum punched him in his tummy button

Will Bynum picked up a one game suspension for his "unintentional" punch to the gut of Psycho T during the Pistons' 18 point loss to the Pacers on Saturday.  It infuriates me how stupid professional athletes think the public is.  Between Bynum saying Saturday's punch was intentional and Metta saying THE elbow last year was unintentional, it makes me want to finger a bunch of jalapenos and touch my eyes.

PS After watching the video above and the video I tagged earlier (below), it's safe to say Danny Granger is a bitch, right?  Teammates getting punched and thrown to the floor right in front of him and he's just standing at a safe distance and pointing at the bad guy.  "Daddy, he hit Ty in the tummy!  Put him in time out!"  Bitch.

Breaking News: I agree with LeBron James

In what may be a sign that the end of the world is imminent, I agree with LeBron James' assessment of D. Wade's new, self-proclaimed nickname, WOW, which stands for 'Way of Wade'.  James said in reference to the nickname and slogan for the fashionista's Li-Ning shoes, "I think it's corny."

Hopefully this is the first and last time I agree with a LeBron statement because I much prefer hating him to liking him.

D. Wade is a pro at being a dick sack and he has stayed the course with this move.  Nothing, not even LeBron James' hairline, is worse than someone who anoints their own nickname.

Kobe STILL not giving a fuck

On Friday pretty boy, Mark Cuban, was going over some hypothetical situations that teams are faced with under the NBA's new collective bargaining agreement in a hypothetical attempt to educate the public on the difficulties he and many other owners face.  During this impromptu enlightenment, Cuban chose to use Kobe Bryant as a hypothetical example of a player that an owner would have to consider amnestying in order to stay under the hypothetical luxury tax.

Turns out, Kobe wasn't impressed with Cuban's comments and took it out on  Cuban's Mavs on Sunday to the tune of 38 points on 13-21 from the field with 12 boards and 7 assists for a 103-99 Laker win in Dallas.  (Side note: if the Lakers have any shot of winning games when Kobe takes 21 shots, he needs to make at least this many which he has not done.)  After the game, Kobe bestowed on us the single best tweet of all time.

The Mamba knows he's at a point in his career when he can say whatever the fuck he wants and lucky for all of us, he is.

Mamba out.

Spencer Hawes Rejects Lebron

Holy Shit!  The South Beach Club Crew would go on to get the win, throwing a little salt into the gaping axe wound that has been the Sixers' 2012-13 campaign (this loss put them at 22-31).  Lebron recovered from the smackdown issed by Spence to post a vanity triple double, saying "I wasn't going to let this one slip away. I've had too many games where I was one assist, one rebound away. I wasn't coming out." Unconfirmed reports state that Bynum and the Bostrich went bowling after the game.

Thoughts on Last Night

The two showcase games last night both ended in blowouts, but still raised some interesting points for the League.  From the first game: Miami is starting to roll.  9 straight wins (10 of their last 11) including the last 7 wins by double digits.  That streak includes wins over Brooklyn, Houston, Lakers, Clippers, OKC, and Atlanta.  Ranked 1st in Offensive Efficiency, and 9th in Defensive.  Starting to really distance themselves atop the East, and settling into the 2nd best record in the NBA.  Beating a Rose-less Bulls team isn't much to write home about, but holding them to 67 points and forcing 27 turnovers is.  Playing great ball, of course with LeBron at the helm.  30 points, 8 rbs, 7 asts, 2 steals over the past 11 games on 66% shooting.  They have to be considered the favorites right now.

On the other side of the League, the Spurs are surging into the best record in basketball, highlighted last night by a thorough ass-whooping of the Clippers.  Tony Parker put up 30 and 7 assists with 0 turnovers (Compared to CP3 going for 4 points and 3 assists?!?!) to lead the Spurs to their 16th win in the last 17 games!  The Clippers are still 2-1 this season against SA, but I really question whether they have what it takes to beat such a disciplined team like the Spurs, especially when it gets down to coaching battles between Pop and Vinny. But this comes back to the same old story with the Spurs - will they deliver in the postseason?  More importantly, will they beat the Thunder 4 times in 7 games?  Last season's WCF was such a wild swing, I really don't know what to think.  But they're running away with the 1-seed, and barring any huge series from the Clippers or another darkhose, setting up for another great series, and a ticket to lose to Miami in the finals. 

Top 5 and Bottom 3 & Post All-Star Game Awards

With All-Star weekend behind us, it's time for teams to get serious about hoisting the Larry O'Brien Trophy this summer. Some teams have separated themselves as serious contenders, while others have already begun scouting lottery picks and hoping the ping pong balls go their way.

Top 5:
1. Miami Heat (37-14)
2. San Antonio Spurs (43-12)
3. Oklahoma City Thunder (39-15)
4. Los Angeles Clippers (39-17)
5. Denver Nuggets (34-21)

Miami has solidified itself as the team to beat this postseason, dismantling the Thunder again in the final game before the ASG. The Spurs are looking strong and will roll into the postseason under the radar, as usual. The Nuggets make a Top 5 appearance for the first time as they impressively have scored at least 97 points in every game since Jan 1st. 

Bottom 3:
1. Orlando Magic (15-39)
2. Charlotte Bobcats (13-41)
3. Sacramento Kings (19-36)


And now, the final installment of Club Bosh's midseason awards.



MVP: LeBron James (Runner-up: Kevin Durant)

Rookie of the Year: Damien Lillard (Runner-up: Anthony Davis)

Defensive Player of the Year: Joakim Noah (Runner-up: Larry Sanders)

6th Man of the Year: J.R. Smith (Runner-up: Jamal Crawford)

Most Improved Player: Jrue Holiday (Runner-up: Paul George)

Coach of the Year: Mike Goodson (Runner-up: Mark Jackson)

Eastern Conference Finals: Miami Heat vs. Brooklyn Nets

Western Conference Finals: Oklahoma City Thunder vs. San Antonio Spurs

NBA Finals: Miami Heat vs. San Antonio Spurs

NBA Champion: Miami Heat

MKG for Dunk of the Year?

Michael Kidd-Gilchrist, the former Kentucky star, and current Bobcats lousy 1 on 1 player, threw his entry into the ring last night by absolutely destroying up Greg Monroe.  Fun fact: MKG is the youngest player in the L. 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CHARLES!

Today, we celebrate the birth of the most celebrated athlete of our time.  He's been overshadowed quite a bit by that racist fashion monger, but nothing can stop Sir Charles.  The Round Mound of Rebound.  The most dominant force to ever step foot in the NBA, Barcelona, some poor Angolan man's ribcage, or your local bar.  Fear him.  Respect him.  And get him a beer and a donut.  We salute you, Chuck, for the constant stream of life-altering material you have given, and will continue to give us.  The VIP is roped off, just for you, whenever you want. 

 

 

 

 

Larry's Midseason Review & Awards

Like my man Chuck, I wanted to revisit my preseason predictions, as well as do the midseason awards.  Sure, the second half started last night, but All-Star Weekend was poppin in da club, and everyone needed a little break after that. 

I'll just get this out of the way and say that I was pretty well off the mark in the Atlantic.  I had the standings looking something like Phila, Boston, Knicks, Brooklyn, Toronto.  Now to be fair, Bynum hasn't played a god damn minute for the Sixers, which slightly influences their team.  Alas, the road to the Eastern Conference Finals does not look like it's going to run through South Philly.  The Knicks came out better than anyone expected, Beantown is a year older and much more injured, and Brooklyn is pretty mediocre.  Toronto has slightly improved their win percentage, but still sit in the basement.

Now to the Southeast, where the Heat are taking care of things, as expected.  7.5 games back sit the Atlanta Hawks, who, like I predicted, can expect to be a midlevel seed who goes out early.  Only excitement left here is to see if they trade Josh Smith or not.  Below them, the Wizards.  I was hoping they'd push for the 8th seed, which obviously isn't happening.  Wall was out much longer than expected, and that really killed any hope they had.  But they've been playing good basketball since his return, and a core of Wall/Beal/Nene is great to build on.  The Magic and Bobcats bring up the rear.  That puts me at 5/5 in the Southeast, and I expect someone to pay me for that kind of insight.

Awards time!
MVP: As I have previously stated, I want someone other than Bron to win.  But after his recent stretch of play, it's in his hands.  Durant is next up, with CP3 and darkhorse Tony Parker waiting in the wings.  Obviously a lot of basketball left to play, and as Chuck said, one of the tightest races ever.  The level of basketball these guys are playing is unreal.

Rookie of the Year: Damian Lillard.  No contest.

Defensive Player: Joakim Noah.  Not the biggest fan of him, but you can't deny what a force his is, playing an integral part of Chicago's surprise run to the 5 seed in the absence of DRose.

6th Man: Jamal Crawford. JR Smith can make a push if he and the Knicks pick things back up, but somebody from the Clippers needs to be recognized for their success.

Most Improved: Jrue Holiday.  Chuck already made the case, but you can't deny the growth of Jrue, carrying a team sans their blockbuster trade acquisition.  Without Jrue, the Sixers might be the worst team in the league. 

Coach of the Year: Strong case for Mark Jackson, but the Warriors are in a precarious position.  They've lost 6 straight, and need to turn things around stat before they start slipping further down the standings and giving the Lakers a whiff of a playoff spot.  The award can be his, but Mike Woodson is waiting in the wings to snatch it if Golden State collapses.

Eastern Conference Finals: Miami vs Indiana.  I just don't see the Bulls beating the Heat in the second round, regardless of a Rose comeback.  They thoroughly dispatched of the Bulls in Rose's MVP season, and I don't see any reason for that to change.  Not with the way Bron is playing.  I think Indiana pulls an upset and knocks off a Knicks team who will not be able to shoot their way into the ECF.  Miami wins in 6 very tough games.

Western Conference Finals: OKC vs San Antonio.  Obvious sleeper here is the Clippers, but I just don't know which of those two teams I'd pick the Clippers to beat.  OKC wins in 7. 

Finals: OKC vs Miami, the rematch.  Expect more of this.  Heat in 6. 

Midseason Recap

I know this is a few days late now, but I figured I'd go back over my initial predictions for this season, hand out Chuck's midseason awards and make some second half predictions. 

First to recap my previews of the Northwest and Pacific Divisions.

Out in the Northwest, it was no secret going in to this season that K. Smooth and the fellas would easily conquer the competition and grab a top 3 seed in the West.  My real brilliance came in with the 62-20 record prediction.  Currently the Thunder sit at 39-14 and if they continue with their current win rate, they will end up 63-19.  I'd say that makes me a fucking genius.

The major mistakes I made in the Northwest were predicting the Minnesota Timberwolves as the 2nd place team and the Jazz to only win 1 game.  In my defense on the outlandish Minnesota prediction, they have been decimated by injuries this year and Kevin Love has only played in 18 games (posting averages of 18+ppg and 14rpg).  No way a team that has traveled at times with only 7 people to away games is going to have a winning season.  As for the Jazz, the liquor laws in Salt Lake City have not been loosened so they are bound to falter under the pressure of the home stretch. 

In the Pacific, I was pretty damn close sans the meltdown out in Lakerland that no one in the entire world saw coming.  As long as the Warriors stay the course, they'll actually be better than my 43-39 prediction (47-35) and they'll be a 5/6 seed in the playoffs.  NO ONE can want to play this Warrior team.  If Bogut actually rounds into form so they have an inside presence and if Steph Curry stays healthy, I think they can surprise the Clippers or Grizzlies in the first round.  I was also able to correctly predict horrible, atrocious, embarrassing teams in both Sacramento and Phoenix, but that's nothing to write home about.

Midseason Awards:

MVP: Kevin Durant (I'm the biggest Kevin Durant apologist in the world, but this may be the tightest MVP race ever.)

Rookie of the Year: Damien Lillard in a landslide (Notice I didn't mention the idiotic prediction I made regarding him in the preseason.)

Defensive Player of the Year: Larry Sanders (Video game like block numbers, gets the nod in a surprise over Tyson Chandler)

6th Man of the Year: Jamal Crawford (17ppg off the bench, could also make a case for J.R. Smith but he has cooled off from the beginning of the year.  Honorable Mention: Kevin Martin)

Most Improved Player: YOUR Jrue Holiday (Ridiculous year.  19 and 9 up from 13.5 and 4.5 last year.  Paul George is also a strong candidate here especially with how he has carried Indiana without Danny Granger but I'm a homer so Jrue gets the nod.)

Coach of the Year:  Mark Jackson (Look at the turnaround.  That's enough evidence right there.) George Karl gets honorable mention. (Has Denver playing incredible basketball with no All-Stars and really no go-to scorer.)

All NBA Team: I'm going to do the same thing the All-Star game did and pick two back court and three front court players.  Back Court: Chris Paul and Tony Parker (I really wanted to put James Harden in here because he is carrying Houston, but could not ignore Tony Parker scoring 20 a game on 54% from the field while dishing out 8 assits).  Front Court: Kevin Durant, LeBron James, Carmelo Anthony

Eastern Conference Finals: Miami Heat vs. New York Knicks
Sleeper: Chicago Bulls.  If Joakim Noah can get healthy and Poohdini returns anywhere close to where he was last year, I honestly believe they could beat the Heat in the second round.

Western Conference Finals: Oklahoma City Thunder vs. San Antonio Spurs
No Sleeper here.  No chance.

NBA Finals: Miami Heat vs. Oklahoma City Thunder
Not so sleeper: San Antonio Spurs.  Would not surprise me in the least to see Pop take Timmy D and the gang to South Beach.

NBA Champion: Oklahoma City Thunder.  One reason, Kevin Durant.  He is having one of the greatest scoring seasons of all time and as long as Russ Russ gets him the ball in the clutch instead of blindfolding himself and taking wild layup attempts, the Thunder will take down the Heat in Game 7 in Oklahoma City.

So...Yeah...

"A week or two" away from practicing, still "100% sure" he'll play this season, new insane hairdo.  Really firing on all cylinders in South Philadelphia. The Sixers begin the second-half fight for their playoff lives tomorrow at Minnesota.  They still have 4(!) games left against Miami, as well as 2 with BKNY and Indiana, and 1 each against Golden State, Knicks, Denver, and LAC.  Hopefully it's not too painful to watch. 

Bosh Spice had a bad All-Star Sunday

Seems the Miami Heat went in to All-Star Sunday with one goal in mind, look stupid as shit.  While LeBron was busy getting demoralized by Kobe, the Boshtrich was trying to see if he could spread his feet far enough apart that Tony Parker on CP3 would physically try to dribble through his legs.  Unfortunately, they did not, but they did succeed in pulling a Jamal Crawford with Velocibosh.  Getting megged twice while shooting 3 ridiculous air balls makes Coach Spo's choice to start the namesake over Kyrie a laugher. 

Bosh's bad day didn't end there.  This morning, video from an All-Star weekend party hosted by Lil Wayne and Birdman surfaced where Lil Wayne boasts about piping Bosh's wife.  That's right, piping.

Have a little respect for yourself, Chris.  You're embarrassing yourself and everyone up in da club.

LeBron embarrassed by Kobe, disappears in 4th circa 2011

LeBron was back to his old self last night, withering in the 4th quarter of the All-Star game and allowing the West to claim a 143-138 victory.  Kobe punctuated LeBron's implosion with 2 blocks that broke LeBron's will and officially compromised the Heat's quest to repeat. 

These 2 blocks will have a lasting effect on LeBron's frail psyche.  Don't forget, You heard it from sources up in da club first.

Racist, Fascist, Marxist, Michael Jordan turns 50

50 years old, huh, MJ?  Just to keep you humble, not everything you touch turns to gold, even though you still make $80 million a year and are good enough to make a comeback whenever you please.

Biggest Story of 2013 from the BBVA RIsing Stars Game

The Scene: Houston, site of the 2013 BBVA Rising Stars Game

The Time: Halftime of the Rising Stars Game with Shaquille O'Neal, Ernie Johnson, Kenny Smith, Karl Malone and Charles Barkley

The Getdown: Charles Barkley is asked by Erine Johnson what its like to play against The Mailman in the All Star game (this after Sir Charles is shown being stuffed by Malone in an All Star game of past).  Charles goes off on his typical "let me tell you something" rant telling a story of how his Mom is like Malone's mom and vice versa (same thing he told Shaq on Thursday night).  Malone starts telling a story of how Barkley is a neat freak and keeps a lot of Vaseline around for his lips.  Charles smiles and starts laughing in gentle embarrassment.  Malone then drops a tractor-trailer size bomb on us and says Barkley used to keep Vaseline in his NAVAL during games.  HIS NAVAL.  Can't make this shit up.  Sir Charles had the same admitting, gentle embarrassment he had during the first revelation and that is reason enough for da club to confirm it's 100% legitimacy.  Sir Charles Barkley, the Round Mound of Rebound, used to find it so necessary to grease his lips during games that he stowed Vaseline in his belly button.  

As Benny the Jet said, one of the best nights in NBA history.

BronBron Done Did It Again

What more can you say?  Marquee matchup right before the All Star Break.  Finals rematch, with 2 of the 3 best records in the league.  Bron vs KSmoov.  And Bron steals the show yet again.  39 points, 12 boards, 7 assists, 2 steals.  Shot only 58%, missing out on continuing his 60% streak because he took a long 3 pointer with a minute left in the game as the shot clock wore down.  No way Durant would have taken that shot, lest his stats get affected. 

The Heat came out hard and put up a double-digit lead in the first quarter, stretching it to 23 points in the third.  Durant overcame a nasty fall and rough shooting start to finish with 40, and eventually (kind of) made a game of it in the 4th quarter, but no dice.  Every time the Thunder got close, LeBron answered.  Whether it was a long 3 right in Smoovs grill, dish to a teammate for a wide open 3, or throwing down a viscious dunk off the inbounds, Bron was all on his own tonight.  Completely owned the game, making it 6 straight wins vs Smoov and da fellas, dating back to those fateful summer nights in South Beach.  Miami has won 7 straight overall, and built a 4-game cushion over NY at the top of the East. 

I was really hoping Durant would win the MVP this year, partially because I like him and he completely deserves it, and partially so people would be off LeBron's back a bit.  But right now, unfortunately for Smoov, I don't know how you'd pick anyone but Bron.  You never know, but this could become the usual.

State of the Thunder Address: Really Just February 12 Review

The Thunder found a way to lose to the Jazz last night in a game that they shot 56% from the field compared to the Jazz's 48%.  In normal circumstances, I'd put the loss on Russell Westbrook's wild layup clinic, but he was a solid 8/14 from the field last night.  Next I'd move to turnover differential, which Russ Russ certainly contributed to abundantly, but once again, I'd be wrong.  Though Russ Russ did have 7 turnovers, the Jazz ended the game with only a +3 turnover differential.  That leads me to the real answer.  An answer that had Russ Russ noticeably upset after the game and a notion that shakes me to my very core.  You see in the video below, just off camera, sources close to OKC confirm that a reporter from the The Daily Oklahoman was holding up a cue card that read "where's James"?  Short and sweet.  Warm and nostalgic.  Love and loss.  As soon as Russ Russ saw it, it was game over.

The bench lost the game for the Thunder last night, which scares the shit out of me.  You know who else it scares shitless?  Fucking, Presti.  Kevin Martin was invisible, finishing with just 6 points on 3/8, and the rest of the bench combined for a skinny 19 points. Presti made this bed.  He cashed this check. He pumped this fist.  This was a prime game last year where Harden would put up 30 points on a ridiculous 12/16 from the field and carry the Thunder to a win.  They counted on that guy.  I'm worried what is going to happen in June when they don't have that guy.  I know Smooth J had a rough finals last year, but all signs pointed to a breakout this year.  He is having that breakout but not in OKC.

Poppa Perk was not happy about the absence of Jeremiah (more so than Smooth J) and he took it out in an elbow to the side of Al Jefferson's dome that would've made Ron Ron proud.

K. Smooth can do no wrong.  LeBron.

Mosgov getting Mosgov'd

USC product DeMar DeRozan took his turn embarrassing tall white European men last night and hit on a repeat offender with apparently no pity. DeRozan has surprisingly benefited from the Raptors acquisition of Rudy Gay, averaging 18.3 points a game since the trade. With opposing teams focusing on stopping Gay, DeRozan has been given more room to do things such as this...

Yikes. Timothy Mosgov has been known to get embarrassed by smaller, more athletic men on the regular. He has built a reputation for being on the wrong end of many posters hanging in bedrooms throughout this great nation. His repetitive play has lead to the term "Mosgov'd"; as in getting viciously dunked on in front of thousands. You can see another perfect example below compliments of Blake Griffin. I suggest Timothy Mosgov find Roy Munson immediately to help deal with the struggles of  your last name becoming an unflattering verb. 

Ho Hum, Just Another Night for Bron

As BronBron led the Heat to their 6th straight win, he coincidentally set an NBA record by scoring 30+ points on 60%+ shooting in his 6th straight game.  He is 60 for his last 80 shot attempts (75%).  Just let that sink in for a bit.  Going to be hard to deny him another MVP if his game stays at this level. 

Warning: Insane Sixers Rant Below

Could it get any more soft than Spencer Hawes?  Seriously.  This guy is 7'1" and insists on playing at the top of the key where he makes a living bricking jumpers and trying to be a point guard.  Here's an idea, Spencer, why don't you get your fat fucking ass under the basket and let your All-Star point guard worry about running the show?

I had the pleasure of watching the Clippers dunk on the Sixers every way imaginable last night as they rolled to a 107-90 victory at the Wells Fargo.  The Sixers trailed by as much as 32 in the game and the 17 point margin of victory does the Clippers dominance no justice.  It was thorough.  It was complete.  It was powerful.

My disgust for this team peaked when Hawes let chubby chaser, Blake Griffin,  dunk of him for the one millionth, one hundred seventy six thousandth, five hundred and sixty fourth time.  Have a little self respect, Spencer!  The guy is making your sexy girlfriend wetter than the Atlantic with every dunk and not once does it go through your head to foul the guy?  Maybe don't let him put his dick in your face on this trip to the hoop?  Put him on his back and maybe next time he'll think twice about putting his balls in your eye.  Instead, you let him to the rim relatively uncontested where he throws down on you so hard, fucking Evan Turner starts giggling like the little school girl bitch he is.

I am so happy I only have to deal with Spencer Hawes for one more year.  He is a poor man's Pau Gasol and I hate Pau Gasol with the fire of a thousand suns.

That leads me to Evan Turner.  He has to go and he has to go now.  Get him out of here before the trade deadline.  He is a bust.  His wild inconsistency is doing nothing but hurting this team.  I get that he is having a career year.  I get that he has 10 double doubles this year which takes his CAREER total to 17.  He will NEVER be able to carry this team.  The Sixers still have a viable trade piece in him solely based on his potential.  Get him out of here while you can still get something for his bum ass.  For him to be sitting on the bench giggling at Blake Griffin dunking on the marshmallow is completely inexcusable.  Obviously cares about this thing a lot less than the fans.  His response after the game about his reaction, “I wasn’t celebrating or nothing. I felt bad for my boy and how he’s forever going to live on in highlights.”  You felt bad so you were laughing?  First you suck at basketball then you insult my intelligence?  God damn!  Good riddance, Evan.  I hope that you stub your toe on the way out.

Tee Shirt Jerseys. Ew.

The Golden State Warriors have gone against the grain of NBA fashion with a new look uniform set to debut  next week. Club VIP Harrison Barnes is shown rockin' the new jerz below while posterizing a 6'11 Euro center (Euro center optional). Chance of Golden State's stud rookie actually posterizing another tall Frenchie or Swede while wearing these jerseys are fairly high. The Warriors will wear these uni's at least three times this season. 

Adidas & the Warriors collaborated for many years apparently to think up this idea and have it come to fruition. Sure, Adidas will boast all the performance enhancing features and advantages to their 'revolutionary material and breathability' or some crap like that. But let's be honest, do you really think the jersey one team wears will have any affect on the outcome of an NBA game? I don't either. Take this thought and blend it with the fact that these new jerseys flat out look dumb, and you have a PR mistake about to go down in the Bay Area. You can thank the Club for the heads up. 

The Warriors are set to debut these uniforms Feb 22nd against the San Antonio Spurs. 

BronBron goin off

First, let's start with those highlights from yesterdays matchup against the Lakers.  Tight game up until the 4th quarter, where LA started turning the ball over, Miami got running, and Bron put up a couple ridiculous dunks.  Just completely ran away with the game.  That finishes a week that saw Miami handily beat Houston, the Clippers and Lakers in succession.  At 8-2 in their past 10, on a 5 game streak, Miami is starting to round into form coming up on the All Star break.  The biggest reason for that?  Yup, LeBron.

As has been widely reported, in his last 5 games he's averaging 31 points, 7 rebounds, 6 assists, 1.5 steals, while shooting 71% from the field, and 77% from three.  Those are video game numbers.  At least 30ppg on 60% shooting for 5 games has happened two other times in NBA history, and not for 30 years.  It's almost impossible to be playing better basketball than that.  The game against OKC on Thursday should be great. 

Also, this is awesome:

MJ could still average double figures at age 50?

Well, it's Michael Jordan's 50th Birthday week and da club is going to be working overtime to pay that racist fuck some tribute.  On Friday night, after the Lakers squeaked out a win in Charlotte, Antwan Jamison told reporters that MJ, who turns 50 on Sunday, could still average 10-11 points off the bench while playing about 15-20 minutes per.  The guy was unreal, but playing at 50 in a young man's game?  That's crazy, right?  I don't think so.  Check out Michael's top 10 below.  A dude with moves like that just doesn't lose everything over night.  In his 15th and final season in the L, he still was averaging 20ppg at age 40.  There are still rumors out of Charlotte, that he laces them up every once in a while and still can't be beaten in a game of one-on-one with active Bobcats' players (I know, that doesn't say much).  Anyway, point is, I don't disagree with Jamison and if anyone is arrogant enough to try a comeback at age 50, MJ's the guy.

Blake Griffin, Chubby Chaser

The Grammys were last night and it seems Blake Griffin has a thing for a certain rotund, British Grammy winner... ah, stereotypes.

Do you, Blake, do you.

DeAndre Jordan is a bully

DeAndre Jordan makes his glorious return to the club today by throwing down two man sized dunks (or one dunk and a power layup) on the helpless, Nikola Vucevic.  I almost feel bad for Nikola here.  Not only is he playing on a team that has now lost 11 straight games and has the look of a bad D-League squad, he looks like a 1st grader on the playground trying to defend a freshman in college.  Just putting up no resistance at all.  DeAndre acts like he's not even there.  Poor kid.

John Wall gives Melo what he had coming to him

The Knicks were winners of 5 straight heading into Washington last night and feeling good about their chances against one of the worst teams in the league.  That quickly changed when John Wall, who apparently is no longer fat as fuck, stuffed Carmelo Anthony's layup attempt then went coast to coast to cap it off with a pretty little spin move and layup. 

 

The Wizards went on to win 106-96 after outscoring the Knicks by 13 in the 4th quarter.

Ricky the Kid up to his old tricks

Last night, while Minnesota was en route to their 8th loss in 9 games, this time to the Spurs, Ricky the Kid found the time to embarrass former Pitt Panter, DeJuan Blair, with a nifty little pass through his legs to my boy, Steimsma, for the layup.  Lately, former Pitt Panthers have made a living being embarrassed by younger, more talented players.

The Spurs are once again boasting the best record in the league at 39-11, 1.5 games better than the Thunder, and are winners of 11 straight.  No idea how it is possible that a team this good could be considered "under the radar" but that is exactly what they are.  Coach Pop just gets in done year after year with whoever he has on the court.

Touchdown!

Midway through the 3rd quarter of an eventual win over Jeremiah and the Rockets, a jump ball in Rockets territory led to this absurd full-court alley oop. 



Hell of a play.  Bron takes off immediately, Wade sees it and one-hands a full-court dime right into Bron's hands, who finishes with as smooth of a layup as you will see.  That coordination is mind blowing. 

Sad State of Affairs

Allen Iverson has really been having a rough go recently.  First, he gets divorced, where the judge took the oppotunity to remind AI that he is an alcoholic and a terrible parent.  Next up?  His mansion just got foreclosed on.  Also, he has refused to look into the D-League, so his chances at lacing up for an NBA team ever again are pretty much zero.  Just a sad story all around.  Back in the day, there was literally nothing cooler in the world to me than AI.  Really sucks to see him down and out like this.  I'd like to say I see him turning things around, but I can't begin to think of how that will happen.  Hopefully he can swallow some of that pride and get his life together.  We'll always have LA...

Definition of WAKAKAKAKAKA

Pau gets hurt, Dwight Drama, getting some wins yet still sitting 3.5 games out of the 8th seed... Doesn't matter to Kobe.  He got his and then some.  And at 34 years old?  God damn.  And Kris, getting posterized isn't something cool guys do. 

 

 

UPDATE! I just saw Kobe's quote about his dunk:

 

"I think everyone has been drinking the Kobe pass Kool-Aid so they kind of stayed on the perimeter like the Red Sea. I felt a little like Moses."

 

Kobe is such a head case.  I love it.  

K.Smooth tells CP3 to suck it

Though LeBron put together what will end up being the most complete game of the season yesterday, he was still overshadowed by the future MVP on an insane bounce pass to Kevin Martin.  For a guy who gets all his pub from scoring, Smooth can sure sling the rock.

Bosh vs Kyrie: Who Should Start?

Rajon Rondo tearing his ACL created two openings in the All-Star game: A general player replacement (Fairly given to Brook Lopez), and a replacement in the starting lineup.  A recent Heat win secured them the best record in the East at the halfway point, meaning Erik Spoelstra and his staff are assuming the coaching duties, and are allowed to choose the final starter.  This has been wittled down quickly to two choices: Club namesake Chris Bosh, and second-year phenom Kyrie Irving.  Bosh has made no secret of expecting to be named starter.  But should he be?

vs

 

 

Let's try to look at this.  Bosh is obviously playing on the better team.  Miami is leading the conference, while Cleveland sits in 13th position, 18.5 games back.  I don't need to remind you about the quality of Boshs' teammates.  The best thing Kyrie had going this year was Anderson Varejao, ane he's out for the season.  It's safe to say Kyrie carries a heavier load.

 

But what about the numbers?  Kyrie is checking in at 24/5/4 & 2 steals with 47/41/81 shooting splits.  Bosh 18/2/7 and 1 block, posting 55/27/81 shooting.   Kyrie posts the 13th-best PER at 22.78, with Bosh sitting in 22nd at 20.61.  Again, advantage Kyrie. 

 

Kyrie is doing all that is asked of him and more, while putting on some jaw-dropping performances and carrying a really terrible team.  Bosh isn't playing poorly by any stretch; it's no secret he gets overshadowed and generally under-appreciated.  But when you have an open PG slot, and the best young player/PG in the league making his first All-Star game, why not reward him?  You really need to put Bosh in, making the Heat the first time with 3 ASG starters since Magic's early 90s Lakers?  Come on, Erik.  Do the right thing, let Kyrie get a chance to shine and be in the starting lineup.  Who doesn't want to see him and BronBron and Melo carving up KSmoove? 

Real-life Uncle Drew

It's a known fact that Club postings grind to a halt on the weekend.  Ya bois have to take care of the VIPs, and there's simply no time for updates.  Especially when Club mainstay Kyrie Irving needs to throw a banger after playing one of the most absurd games of the season.  On Saturday night, the Thunder came to Cleveland for what figured to be a big win.  OKC sporting the second-best record in the L, and the Cavs coming off a loss to the Pistons in which Kyrie claimed he was "disinterested" and didn't play hard.  Instead of admitting defeat, Kyrie acted like the whole Thunder team was just a bunch of Joeys from the park:



35 points (12-23, 3-5 from three), including 13 in the LAST 3 MINUTES.  He showed it all: crafty bank shots, twisting layups, the best handle in basketball (those hesitation moves are sick), and balls of steel nailing another deep three, this time over RussRuss.  Beating the Thunder is tough when KD and Russ combine for 60/13/8/4, but to do it as a second-year player?  God DAMN.  I'll fan out on Kyire every chance I get.  That's just silly. 

Also, I'm really glad my opinions about him getting taken with the 1st pick having played like 5 games are not in writing. 

Metta can't hide Ron Ron forever

Yesterday Metta World Peace returned to the scene of the crime and he couldn't keep Ron Ron down.  With 1:45 to go in the second quarter, Metta and Brandon Knight got tangled up under the basket and Ron Ron came roaring out in a fit of crazy where its pretty obvious that he threw an uppercut at Knight's jaw (:19 second mark in the video below).

Of course, just like the elbow heard round the world, Ron Ron retreated back into the depths of Metta almost immediately and Metta went into damage control mode, trying to justify the 'inadvertent' contact.  My guess is Metta's reputation will proceed him on this one and he'll be logging some 'me' time at the mercy of Dictator Stern.

Don't look now, but the Lakers are winners of 5 out of 6 and playing pretty good basketball.  Kobe wants number 6. 

PS The Kobe to Earl Clark half court inbounds pass at the end of the first half is one of the best passes I've seen this year.

Macklemore All-Star Game Promo

By now, nearly everybody knows of white rapper Macklemore and his hit Thrift Shop. Bull seems to have some flow, but it seems too early to project his success. Not sure if this dude is en route to fame similar to Eminem, or fall down the path of many other white rappers (see: Asher Roth). If your looking for a tight underground whitey you should probably check out Rone.

But I digress.. the video below is Macklemore's song Wing$, which has been made into a full video advertisement to promo the NBA All-Star game in two weeks.

Not great, but not bad at times either. Let us know what you think.

Russ Russ throws a hissy fit

The Thunder raced out to an early lead last night and coasted to a 106-89 win against the short handed, Gay-less, Grizzlies.  Towards the end of the game, Russ Russ was called for a 5 second violation while posting up Jerryd Bayless and apparently blamed it on poor Thabo Sefolosha.  The below video is what follows and his post game interview with the always well dressed, Craig Sager.  Mind you, this all unfolded as the Thunder were up 18 points.  While I admire the fire that Westbrook plays with on a nightly basis, I have to completely disagree with his statement saying he handled this like a man.  He handled this like a spoiled 12 year old that didn't have the nicest sneakers in gym class.  Russ Russ is a freak of an athlete, but if he thinks storming off the court with a towel over his head after jumping up and down and screaming about a 5 second violation while the Thunder are up 18 points is what a leader does, he has a lot of growing up to do.